


Ace of Harts

by DC_Derringer



Category: Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015)
Genre: Allosexual Eggsy, Asexual Harry, M/M, Masturbation, Oral Sex, Past Harry/Merlin, Voyeurism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-13
Updated: 2016-01-24
Packaged: 2018-05-05 18:59:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 26,036
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5386829
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DC_Derringer/pseuds/DC_Derringer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Eggsy confesses his feelings for Harry, he's rebuffed for no clear reason. It's not their age, or that Harry is Arthur, and there's definitely no rules against it in the damned HR manual. But Harry's asexual, and he doesn't think it will work out between them. Eggsy is sure it will.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> There are two scenes depicting sexual acts in this story, but they will be clearly marked for anyone who does not want to read them. There is also non-graphic description of sex acts, and discussions about sex. 
> 
> A later chapter has a scene set in the 1980's and discusses how asexuality was treated at the time. This is not meant to condone those actions, but to present a realistic issue Harry had to deal with in the past. The chapter will be marked for anyone who wishes to avoid the scene altogether.
> 
> Special thanks to my beta readers [Captrainrogers](http://captrainrogers.tumblr.com/) and [Gooberfiend](http://gooberfiend.tumblr.com/) for helping me make this a better story.

The best part of Eggsy’s day was going into the office at the Savile Road shop and having a cup of tea with Harry before they started the day. While Harry had been recovering from the shot to the head, Eggsy had kept him company and told him all the news and gossip around Kingsman. Once Harry had gotten better and taken his position as Arthur, the habit was hard to break, and neither of them were eager to see it end. 

“Roxy’s got a crush on someone, but she won’t tell me who,” Eggsy said. Once they’d gotten through current events, Eggsy needed to dish. Harry pretended he didn’t care for it, but Eggsy knew he was interested in what his agents and staff were up to. Eggsy felt it was an extra responsibility that only he could manage.

“Don’t pry too much,” Harry warned gently. “It would be ungentlemanly to pester an answer from her before she’s ready.”

“I know it’s someone in IT, though. She finds gags of reasons to go down there.”

“Eggsy,” Harry warned, more firmly, and Eggsy put his hands up in surrender. 

“All right. I’ll leave it. I’m heading to the range later. You going to make it down today?”

“I’ll see how much paperwork I can get through,” Harry said with a sigh. The lack of personal contact with his former colleagues was bad enough. The paperwork just added insult to the injury. “I’ll try to get a few clips in this afternoon.”

“Tell me when. You can show me some more trick shots, yeah?”

“Of course,” Harry said with a smile, and then his head turned to his open door. “Good morning, Merlin.”

“Arthur,” Merlin said, then turned to Eggsy. “Would you excuse us?” Merlin asked, gesturing to his tablet and all its confidential information.

“Couldn’t make me stay if you paid me,” Eggsy said. Most of their private discussions involved budgets and research, which was of no interest to Eggsy anyway. “See you after lunch Harry? Promise?”

“Promise,” Harry said and waited for Eggsy to leave and shut the door behind him before turning to Merlin. “What dregs have you brought to me now?”

“Awful, boring things. Our research and development budgetary discretion funds are lower than I’d like,” he said, handing over his tablet for Harry to peruse. There was a moment of quiet as Harry scowled at the tablet, partially because he had to deal with this, and also, because the funds were surprisingly low. “What are you doing with Eggsy after lunch?”

“Hmm? Oh. I’ve been showing him some high-level gun techniques on the range.”

“Still?” Merlin asked, slight surprise in his voice. “He’s usually a faster learner than this.”

“Don’t start,” Harry said with a groan, recognizing Merlin’s disapproving tone.

“I think it’s odd that Eggsy would need you to show him over and over again techniques that every other agent has mastered. Especially considering his usually very high gun scores.”

“I’m his mentor, and I nearly died. It’s not that strange that he wants to spend time with me.”

“Or, the boy’s mad for you and you need to stop encouraging him or it’s going to end up a mess.”

“I can handle my own affairs, thank you Merlin,” Harry snapped. “Now, if you’re done being nosy, let’s talk about this fund and how we can be certain to afford our jet fuel for the next year.”

~

“When shooting behind, you should always know exactly what’s there. Every inch should be mapped in your mind, either from a previous glance, reflections in mirrors or windows, or an acute sense of hearing to know your target’s location. A combination of the three is best.”

“Yeah,” Eggsy grunted from a tight, twisted position that even his gymnastics training left him unprepared for. Harry had been holding him that way for the entirety of his lecture, forcing the muscle memory into his body of just exactly how to shoot under his arm, through the vent in his suit jacket, behind his back, without turning his head. 

“When you’ve mapped the course behind you, open fire,” Harry said.

Eggsy nodded, took another moment, and then fired off six shots in quick succession. When he was done, he untwisted and couldn’t help but feel very pleased that all six targets, spread over the width of the range had bullets through their heads. 

“Very well done,” Harry said, also looking quite pleased. “How did you get the one in the corner? Couldn’t have caught that during the glance I allowed you.”

“Reflection in your glasses,” Eggsy said, not the least bit humble. 

“Very clever,” Harry said. “I think you’ve really got the hang of this now, Eggsy. I imagine you’d be quite capable with this technique in your next mission.”

“Thanks,” Eggsy said. “Say, you free Friday night?”

“I believe so, why?”

“Thought we could get dinner together. Roxy told me about this place with a sick wine collection. Thought you might like it.”

“Sounds like a wonderful idea. Say 7 o’clock?”

Eggsy nodded eagerly.

~

Just before seven, Harry arrived at Saralina’s, the upscale Italian restaurant Eggsy had suggested, and went inside. Eggsy was already seated at their table, and Harry was immediately struck by the sight of his suit. It was the first one Harry had made for him, the navy blue with the thick white pinstripe. The cut was perfect on Eggsy, and it was a suit with strong memories tied to it. A sign of their meaning to each other, a memory of Eggsy’s first mission and his greatest success. So far, Harry reminded himself, pleased with his protégé. 

“Nice suit,” Harry said as he took the seat across from Eggsy.

“What, this old rag?” Eggsy said with bravado. “Can’t take much credit for it. Someone with much better taste than me picked it out.”

“I think we should both be flattered then,” Harry said.

“So, uh, I’m still a bit at a loss about these things, would you…?” Eggsy asked, handing the wine list to Harry while he smiled sheepishly. “We can make it another lesson.”

“Afraid I won’t spend time with you if I don’t have something to teach?” Harry asked, taking the wine list and scanning it thoughtfully. They did have an impressive cellar. It would be hard to choose something fine that Eggsy would also enjoy. 

“Nah. I like spending time with you even if you aren’t teaching me stuff. Like this. This is nice, isn’t it?”

“It’s perfect. I haven’t been out for a nice meal in too long.”

“Good. I was kind of worried you’d say no,” Eggsy said, just a bit bashfully, looking up at Harry through his lashes.

“Why on earth would I say no?”

“Well, exactly,” Eggsy said, very proud of himself. “But I didn’t know until I‘d got up the nerve to ask you out. Now it just seems silly I didn’t do it sooner. So, like, I’m glad you said yes,” Eggsy finished, reaching out to touch Harry’s hand across the table.

“Oh,” Harry said as he looked at Eggsy’s hand touching his, starting to curl his fingers around Harry’s. He was completely at a loss for what to say, and just felt an overwhelming amount of annoyance at Merlin for being right, again, and Harry had missed it, because he was a blithering idiot. “I… I think there has been a misunderstanding,” Harry said, pulling his hand away from Eggsy’s.

Eggsy stretched his fingers out, seeking that touch for a moment before pulling his hand back, going so far as to tuck his hands into his lap. Confusion and immediate embarrassment were spreading over his features and Harry hated himself for making him feel that way. He should have been so much more careful.

“I like you, Harry,” Eggsy said, his confidence and bravado from earlier gone, replaced with doubt and uncertainty. Those words, delicate and fragile just barely made it past his lips. 

“I’m sorry, my dear boy, but things wouldn’t work out between us,” Harry said, the tone of his voice sinking with the sincerity of his apology, the pain it was causing him to put Eggsy in this situation.

“But that’s… how can you…” Eggsy swallowed hard, trying to find the right words to salvage the rotten mess he’d made. “Maybe… maybe you just haven’t thought about it right. Thought about me like that, you know?”

“You’re very dear to me, so I want to spend time with you, but I’m afraid that’s all I can offer.”

Eggsy chewed his bottom lip, his jaw clenching as he fidgeted in his seat. His features twisted with embarrassment, sadness, and frustration. Suddenly he stood, his emotions getting the better of him, and he startled the people at the table behind him. "Right. Sorry for the misunderstanding. Maybe dinner wasn't such a good idea."

Eggsy stormed out of the restaurant leaving Harry behind, cursing himself for his own blindness.

~

“I told you,” Merlin said once Monday morning arrived and Harry told him about the whole embarrassing ordeal. 

“Oh, shut up,” Harry grumbled. “I need some advice, not your smug victory jeers.”

“How about the advice I’ve been giving you for weeks?” Merlin asked, his voice rising at the end with exasperation. “I told you this would happen, and you wouldn’t listen to me.”

“I don’t see why I can’t spend time with him without it turning into a tawdry romance. It’s perfectly natural for me to work alongside-”

“Don’t you pull that protégé bullshit with me,” Merlin said sternly. “I have eyes. You liked him, so you wanted to be close to him, and you thought you could play a balancing act with it, and you couldn’t. You’re the one that caused this, so you’ve got to be the grown-up.”

“Right. Fine. I know,” Harry said. “I’ll take care of it.”

“Today?”

“Yes, today,” Harry snapped. “You’re dismissed.”

Merlin lingered a moment longer, letting his stern look seep further into Harry’s skin before he went for the door, just as Eggsy was coming in with two mugs of tea, like he usually did. Merlin looked personally offended. “See? This is what I’m talking about,” he said, but left it at that and stormed off.

“What’s gone up his arse?” Eggsy asked as he set one of the mugs down on Harry’s desk, on a coaster as he’d been taught. He sank into the chair across from Harry to sip his tea, looking over the rim of his mug at Harry, just like every other morning. Harry looked at him, baffled by Eggsy’s cool, controlled demeanor.

“Eggsy, maybe we should forgo the morning ritual for a while,” Harry said half-heartedly.

“Nah. Still like spending time with you, and besides, how else am I gonna win you over?” Eggsy winked at him, cock-sure with a mischievous grin that left Harry stunned.

“Win me…? No, Eggsy. I’m sorry if I wasn’t clear, but there’s nothing to win over. We wouldn’t work out.”

“Yeah, see, you said that on Friday too, that we wouldn’t work out. But you didn’t say you don’t like me. In fact, I know you like me, ‘cause like, you know, I have eyes? So that means it’s something else, like I’m too young, or you’re my boss or something. So we’ll just work past that and it’ll be fine.”

Harry was stunned, by Eggsy’s gall, but also his confidence in his observational skills. Which, according to Merlin, were hardly observational skills anyway. “Eggsy, I’m really flattered-”

“Here, let’s make a deal,” Eggsy said. “You say right now that you don’t like me, and I’ll drop the whole thing. I’ll walk out that door, no more tea, no more lessons. Promise. Just tell me you don’t like me.”

Harry felt the words immediately on his lips, the necessary lie that would end this quickly and easily, but when he remembered Eggsy’s face from Friday, they became flimsy, dried out, worthless. He tried a few times to reform the words, make them work, but the hesitation lasted too long and Eggsy grinned broadly.

“See? I knew it,” he said, victoriously. “So, we’ll work through this, and it’ll all be OK. I promise. See you around, Harry.”

Cheerfully, Eggsy left Harry’s office, leaving him confused and speechless about the whirlwind of unsorted feelings that Eggsy left in his wake. He was annoyed even further that this was not the end of it and he was going to hear it from Merlin until the end of time.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter warning: Eggsy says some unfortunately typical things when discovering Harry's secret. There is also some kissing and about a second of groping in this chapter.

Tuesday

“You know Harry, I don’t mind that you’re so much older than me. You’re well fit for a man your age,” Eggsy said as he brought their tea in like he would every other morning.

“Just how old do you think I am?” Harry asked, immediately ruffled by Eggsy’s insinuation. 

“I dunno, like 60?”

“Christ Eggsy, I’m only fifty,” Harry grumbled, self-consciously running a hand through his hair and wondering if he ought to start dyeing it. 

“Well, that’s even better then, innit? I knew the age thing wasn’t going to be much of a hurdle,” Eggsy said cheekily. Harry just rolled his eyes and shook his head. If only it were that easy.

~

Wednesday

“Arthur,” Eggsy said as he entered Harry’s office, a clear sign that he meant to talk business. “I want that mission in Berlin.”

“All right,” Harry said, a little confused. “I already assigned it to you, didn’t I?”

“Yeah, well Merlin thinks I don’t have enough experience.”

“You saved the world before you even became a Kingsman, I damn well think you’ve plenty of experience.”

“Naw, he says it’s my age. Too young. Haven’t lived enough to make the right kind of choices.”

“You’re 25 Eggsy. A grown man with enough experiences that more than qualify you to make tough decisions,” Harry said, getting annoyed now that Merlin would undercut him so drastically. He’d certainly have a chat with him about that. Except he saw that Eggsy was smiling, no, grinning.

“So being too young can’t be a problem, eh Harry?” he winked.

“You better hope I don’t tell Merlin what you’ve said. He’ll have you running laps until he ships you off to Berlin,” Harry said, but he couldn’t help but smile at how clever Eggsy was being. It seemed nothing would divert him.

~

Thursday

“Have you ever read through the human resources employee manual?” Eggsy asked. 

“I don’t think human resources has read the employee manual,” Harry said as he sipped his tea, curious about what Eggsy would tackle him with today. If he had to be honest, it was a bit charming to have Eggsy come into his office each morning and list all the reasons why they could be together. It just made it harder still to not look so charmed.

“Well, I read through it, well most of it, and did you know that not only is there not a rule about Kingsman agents fraternizing but that it’s actually encouraged?”

“I find that highly unlikely,” Harry said, disbelieving.

“It’s for security reasons. Here, look,” Eggsy tossed a thick paperback manual on Harry’s desk, bookmarked and highlighted to the right page and passage, circled in bright red ink with exclamation points and a smiley face. Harry read it, just to please Eggsy, but then his eyes slowly widened.

“Bugger me,” he said when he realized Eggsy was telling the truth.

“OK!” Eggsy said quickly.

“Cheeky!” Harry snapped, trying to sound harsh, though he wanted to laugh. “Enough. I think it’s time for you to be on your way.”

“Oh come on Harry!” Eggsy whined, but Harry gave him a stern look and handed him the manual back, so Eggsy left with an overly dramatic sigh. Harry waited until Eggsy was out of earshot and then called up human resources to see about updating the wording on those manuals. 

~

Friday

“Why have you been reviewing my honeypot missions?” Harry asked, for once catching Eggsy unawares as he came in with their tea, before he could start yet another attack on Harry’s waning reserves of resistance. Eggsy looked immediately guilty and wouldn’t meet Harry’s eye as he set down their tea.

“I didn’t watch nothin’,” Eggsy insisted, and Harry could see he wasn’t lying, which made him even more curious. “Was just checking the… the spread so to speak.”

“The spread?” Harry asked.

“Men versus women,” Eggsy said. “But it’s all men on your honeypots. So like, you are gay, right?”

“Ah, well, yes. I prefer men,” Harry said. 

“So that ain’t it either?” Eggsy said, looking glum as he settled in the seat across from Harry and sipped his tea.

“I’m afraid not,” Harry said, giving him a sympathetic look. All week, Eggsy had come up with any number of very reasonable explanations as to why Harry had to turn him away. All of them enormous enough in their own right for Harry to put him off, but each one Eggsy examined and tossed aside, claiming he had no issue. It was tempting to think that if Eggsy could overlook all of that, then why not just one more thing? Except he knew better. He knew this was best.

“Any plans this weekend?” Eggsy asked, hope burning in his eyes.

“Yes. I’m completely swamped,” Harry lied, blatantly. Another little push away.

“Fine. See you Monday morning then,” Eggsy said with a wink. Harry just sighed. There was no way he could take another week of this and survive.

~

Monday again.

“No, get out. I don’t want to hear any more arguments,” Harry said sternly just as Eggsy was walking into his office with his usual cups of tea as peace offering. He’d re-gathered his wits over the weekend and deemed that he would not be able to resist much longer under Eggsy’s onslaught. It had to end.

“But Harry-”

“No buts. I’ve told you it won’t work out. Why won’t you listen?”

“Because you won’t tell me why,” Eggsy said. Despite Harry’s warning, he slipped into the room and took the chair across from Harry’s desk, imitating a sad little puppy as best he could. “It’s not age. It’s not that you’re my boss. It’s not that you don’t like me. Are you a vampire, Harry? Will you eat my soul if we go on a date?”

“Yes. Happy now? Get out.”

“No,” Eggsy said stubbornly, sinking deeper into his chair. “You keep saying it won’t work, but of course it won’t if you don’t even try.”

Harry considered Eggsy for a moment, as he often found himself doing. Always considering Eggsy. He was handsome, smart, charming, cheerful. Everything he could ever want in a companion, and he did want Eggsy as a companion. He wanted Eggsy all to himself, to only look at him, and pay attention to him. He wanted to be utterly selfish when it came to Eggsy. But that was the problem. It would be utterly selfish to chase this sort of thing. He let out a heavy sigh.

“Do you trust me Eggsy?”

“Of course I do,” Eggsy said without hesitation.

“Do you trust that I will do what’s best for you? Choosing your missions carefully, training you in what you need?”

“Yes,” Eggsy said, just as firmly.

“Then you must trust me in this as well.”

After a long thoughtful silence, Eggsy said, “Trust goes both ways, Harry. But it doesn’t work if one of us is keeping secrets.” For once, Eggsy left without great urging, and his face was dark, stormy with heavy emotions. Harry felt a pang in his own chest, once again impressed with Eggsy’s observations, and even more frustrated that he couldn’t have him.

~

Eggsy liked the Black Prince. Ever since Harry had taken care of Dean’s boys, and then Eggsy himself gave them the same treatment, he felt as though it were his. The owner always gave him a friendly nod, likely because he’d been given an amnesia dart after both fights, and many of the locals knew and respected Eggsy now. The crowd there was still the usual sorts from his neighborhood, so he stood out in his bespoke suit, but he’d become a standard there. As had Roxy, in her own posh Kingsman gear, both of them seemingly out of place in the neighborhood bar, but both of them utterly comfortable there, sure of their ability to go wherever they pleased.

“I’m out of ideas, Rox,” Eggsy said after they’d sat in companionable silence long enough. He’d called her out there for their usual chat and she’d come, ever ready to be an open ear for him. 

“Have you considered he really just doesn’t feel that way for you?” Roxy offered delicately. She didn’t quite believe that was true. She also had eyes and could see the way Harry looked at Eggsy, how he spoke to him, and doted on him. And how, even more telling, once Eggsy had confessed, all of that had stopped, though with great difficulty. 

“Maybe,” Eggsy said, defeat slipping into his voice. He also didn’t quite believe that, but thought he might be biased about it. 

“Well,” Roxy brought up quickly, hating to hear that defeat in Eggsy’s voice, but not sure what good she could offer. “Maybe we just haven’t come up with the reason yet. Maybe it’s something… really embarrassing.”

“Like what?”

“Well like… maybe he’s gassy,” Roxy said with a conspiratorial grin. Eggsy’s eyes widened and he bit back a laugh, shaking his head. “He must be too embarrassed to be with anyone because of it.”

“Or,” she went on, a smile cracking her lips at the thought of it, timing this for when Eggsy took a sip of his beer. “He has a toupee.” Eggsy spat some beer back into his glass and giggled around the rim. Roxy smiled at this small success. “He’s just as bald as Merlin, but he can’t admit it,” Roxy went on to dredge more smiles out of Eggsy.

“No, no,” she went on as another idea occurred to her. “He’s still heart-broken over Mr. Pickle and cannot truly devote himself to anyone else.”

Eggsy bust out a laugh so loud, other patrons looked over. He covered his mouth, stifling his laughter and making himself red in the face. Roxy laughed with him, glad to see Eggsy laughing and smiling again. He really needed the boost. Slowly though, Eggsy sobered, the wide, helpless grin slipping down to just a little smirk.

“Really wish it was something like that,” Eggsy said. “Do you think I have any chance with him?”

“Sure,” Roxy said over the rim of her beer, not making eye contact. “Even 1% is a chance.”

“Oi! C’mon.”

“Maybe 2% if you can find a good reason to take your shirt off in front of him.”

“Oh my, this tea is making me so hot,” Eggsy said in a mocking tone while tugging at his shirt collar. “Mind if I shed this?”

“I’ll give you a hundred pounds if you actually do that,” Roxy said, eyes wide with conspiratorially glee.

“If I thought that would actually work, I might.”

“Well, you’ve tried being reasonable,” Roxy said thoughtfully. “What else have you got to lose?”

“Not much,” Eggsy said with a sigh. They sat a bit longer, chatting about nothing in particular once the Harry conversation ran its course. Roxy still wouldn’t tell Eggsy who she had a crush on though.

~

It was unusual for Harry to go into the field anymore. His position as Arthur was too delicate and necessary for him to risk himself on a mission. But there were times when Harry Hart was just what they needed, and no one else could take his position. This was just such a case.

Over the years, Harry had fronted a number of aliases and cover-identities as he lurked his way through the international underground. In some places, he was Fergus MacDonald, a rough house Scotsman called in for large, messy jobs. In other places, he affected a Welsh accent as Taran Blevins, a notorious scoundrel, thief, pickpocket, and womanizer. For this mission, destabilizing a drug ring developing a new highly effective, but very deadly drug, he needed his chemist alias, Martin Abbot, well known for his creative implementation of chemical compounds (thanks in large part to Harry’s personal interest in Chemistry during school). He was much sought after by this particular gang, and requested by name. There was really no one else they could send. 

But his importance was taken into consideration, and while any other agent might have gone in alone, it was suggested he take back-up with him for protection. After careful consideration of who was already in the field, who had the necessary skills, and who complimented Harry’s own techniques, Eggsy was the obvious choice. For a moment, Harry considered taking the second best choice, but shook his head. The mission was the most important, not feelings. 

They were set to meet in a nightclub owned and operated by the drug dealers. On a given Friday or Saturday night it was a hive of productivity and distribution, scantily clad waitresses slinging drinks and drugs to those in the know. But on a Tuesday afternoon, the place was empty save for Harry and Eggsy, and a pack of eight gang members, running the interview to see if Harry could competently recreate their compound. They were wary of Eggsy at first, but backed down at Harry’s insistence that Eggsy’s help was necessary. An affected tremor in his hand, a result of too much testing of his own he confessed, reassured them that Eggsy’s steady and knowledgeable hand was necessary.

Everything was going just splendidly. Harry, with Merlin’s instructions in his ear was able to reproduce the drug, the leaders were pleased, they were just about to invite them in to make some deals, when from across the club, there was an excited squeal.

“Eggsy? Is that you love? Lord, I haven’t seen you in ages! How’s it been?” one of the cocktail waitresses, there perhaps to pick up her check for the day had come in at the most inopportune time, recognized Eggsy from who knows where, and since that was not the name they had given the gang leaders, well. They did not look too happy. 

“Shit,” Harry and Eggsy said in unison, because as soon as the young woman stopped talking, all eight men drew their guns, and Harry and Eggsy had just enough time to pull their own weapons and go into action. 

What followed was a beautiful and deadly ballet of death and mayhem. Alone, each man was a wonder of himself, Harry a well-practiced, casual, muscle-memoried master of technique. Taking out a few garden variety thugs was no more than a sparring session for him. Eggsy’s quick and flexible moves countered perfectly to Harry’s, a shadow of his mentor’s methods, but with his own flare. He worked with actual glee on his face while bullets flew past his head.

They wiped out most of the men within a few seconds, and the woman Eggsy had known from his past life had wisely run out the door at the first sign of guns. Which was especially wise since the last two gang members had guns particularly stronger than hand guns, which even the finest Kingsman suits were not bullet proof against, and had Eggsy and Harry diving back behind the bar for cover. 

Shattered glass and splintering wood rained down on Eggsy and Harry as bullets flew around them in a wild spray hoping to hit them. They waited it out, reloading their guns, and when there was a lull in the gunfire, they shared a look, and then jumped up from cover simultaneously, leveled their guns in either direction and took out the last two dealers with clean, clear double shots to the head. 

The emptied club rang with sudden silence as Harry and Eggsy slumped back behind the bar to catch their breaths, check in with Merlin, and assess their own damage. They both had small cuts from the shattering glass, but nothing more than streaks and drops of blood here and there. Harry reached over to wipe a drop of blood from Eggsy’s cheek to make sure the cut wasn’t too deep. Similarly, Eggsy reached out to tuck a stray strand of hair behind Harry’s ear, the only piece to escape his impeccably oiled hair during the fight. That little touch against Harry’s skin made the air around them swell with tension. Eggsy could see it in Harry’s eyes, heard the little catch in his breath and knew he had to do something. He leaned in and pressed his lips against Harry’s, soft at first, but then hunger came when Harry did not reprimand him or push him away.

Eggsy slid his hands over Harry, clinging to the fabric of his suit, his desire most quickly overwhelming him, bursting out of him in a soft, shaky moan as Harry kissed him back. That moan unleashed more and Harry grabbed at Eggsy, hauling him close and Eggsy obliged, climbing into Harry’s lap, eager for any point of contact he could manage. He wanted to line up every part of his body with Harry’s and never let him go.

“Please, Harry,” Eggsy mumbled against Harry’s lips, not daring to break contact, lest Harry came to his senses again.

“Yes, Eggsy,” Harry said, and Eggsy thrilled at the need in his voice, pent up and denied for weeks just like his own desire had been. So he wasn’t wrong. This was all they’d needed.

The gunfight left them both wound tight and burning and Eggsy’s blood was still pumping hot, he wasn’t even half surprised that he was already achingly hard, and fuck, how hot would that be to get off in the midst of all this destruction they had caused? He pressed himself against Harry, nudging him with his stiff cock and moaning hotly into his mouth. He scrabbled at Harry’s shirt, rucking it up, and tugging at the buttons. He wanted more skin, needed it. He found Harry’s belt, and started to tug at it, but he was stopped, Harry’s hands keeping him back.

“Harry,” Eggsy whined, the name breaking with his voice, as he rolled his hips harder against Harry. He was going to lose it in his trousers if they didn’t do something soon. He kissed Harry harder, their hunger for each other unrelenting between them. When Harry’s hands went loose around his wrists, he pushed his hands between them, groping for Harry’s groin over his pristine trousers, needing him.

“Don’t!” Harry snapped, his sharp tone cutting through the fog of Eggsy’s arousal, but not quite fast enough. Eggsy got what he wanted, hand exploring freely, but ended up looking mildly disappointed when he found Harry completely and totally soft. Not even a little stiff at all. But then he felt sorry as he looked up and saw a red flush rise up in Harry’s cheeks while he looked away.

“It ain’t…” Eggsy started, not sure what to say, feeling Harry’s second hand embarrassment. “It’s OK, Harry. Just give it some time and-”

“It’s not a matter of time,” Harry growled, still not quite looking Eggsy in the eye. 

“Is this why then? You won’t have a go with me?” Eggsy asked, realization dawning on him. Perhaps Roxy had been right, and it had just been a matter of embarrassment.

“Yes,” Harry said grudgingly, finally looking at Eggsy again, still embarrassed and frustrated as well.

“Well…” Eggsy said after a thoughtful moment. “That ain’t so bad. They got pills for that now.”

Harry rolled his eyes and let out a heavy sigh. “I don’t have ED, Eggsy,” he said, amazed by his own calmness, especially after being accused of having the most stereotypical old man disease in the world by the very young and healthy man he adored. “I’m asexual.”

Eggsy stared blankly at Harry for a good long while. He opened his mouth once or twice about to say something, but nothing came out. Harry’s skin started crawling under his scrutiny. Finally, Eggsy said the most awful thing he could. “What, like what plants do?” and then he grinned.

Harry frowned. He pushed Eggsy off his lap, stood up to brush off his suit, and sighed softly to himself. As he’d expected, just like every time before. A callous remark, a joke. Over and over again. That’s all he was. He was amazed at himself for expecting anything different.

“Hey, wait,” Eggsy said, scrambling up and dusting himself off as well. The enthusiasm was back in his eyes, just like all those mornings he came into Harry’s office, trying to win him over. The thought of it was exhausting. Eggsy grabbed Harry’s elbow and turned him back, looking up at him with those perfect, pleading, puppy-dog eyes of his. “So now I know. We can work this out, yeah? You don’t kiss someone like that if you don’t want something.”

“Eggsy,” Harry said, his frustration rising. He’d had this conversation what felt like a hundred times. “You don’t understand. I can’t offer anything you want. It won’t work.”

“Maybe it’s just, you know, you haven’t met the right person,” Eggsy said hopefully as he moved back into Harry’s space, leaning up to kiss him again, but Harry pushed him back, firmly this time, the annoyance clear on his face. It was exactly what he hadn’t wanted to deal with. He didn’t want to face this but he’d fallen into it yet again. It was stupid.

“We should head back to the manor,” he said stiffly and walked away.

~

The debrief was awkward. Merlin looked anxiously between the both of them, but wisely said nothing. Harry shot off back to his house as soon as they finished, and Merlin quickly dismissed Eggsy as well, not looking particularly pleased. Eggsy, at a loss, returned home and spent the next few hours thinking and planning, because he had some serious chatting to do with Harry tomorrow morning with their tea.

Eggsy barged into Harry’s office the next morning without knocking, and before Harry could scold him like he usually would, Eggsy had slapped a mug of tea down onto his desk, sloshing some of it over the rim, and then plopping heavily into the chair across his desk. For several minutes, they both glowered at each other.

“You shoulda told me,” Eggsy finally said.

“Yes. I should have. We could have gotten this over with sooner,” Harry said.

“I don’t get it, Harry. You like me, and I like you, can’t you just…?”

“No,” Harry said tensely. “I can’t just… anything. I’ve tried it before and I won’t do it again.”

“Then… that’s it, is it? Never had a chance with you?” Eggsy asked, his voice cracking just a little around the words.

“I’m afraid not,” Harry said, his voice hollow, though he was proud it didn’t break. “And I think…” Harry hesitated. This was perhaps the worst part, but it had to be for the best. “I don’t think we should have our morning tea anymore.”

Eggsy very stubbornly did not let his lower lip tremble, but it was an effort. He didn’t dare to say anything, because his voice would break, he might even cry, and he didn’t want to do that in front of Harry, so he just nodded and stood up. Without looking back he left Harry’s office and closed the door behind him.

He made his way shakily down the hall. He just needed to make it home without anyone seeing him because he was going to burst, the whole dam was going to let loose at any moment and the last thing he needed was for Percival or Bedivere to see him as a weepy mess. But it ended up being even worse as he turned the corner and ran into Merlin. Eggsy ducked his head, trying to hide his face, so he only heard Merlin sigh.

“Come along,” Merlin grumbled, grabbing Eggsy by the back of his collar. Eggsy protested, and struggled a bit against Merlin’s pull, but then mulishly gave in and allowed himself to be dragged into Merlin’s private office. The door was shut and locked behind him, to be sure they’d have their privacy. Merlin pushed Eggsy into a chair, and then handed him a box of tissues. Eggsy tossed them back and then snuffled defiantly. 

“I’m assuming Harry finally made it clear why you were not compatible.”

“You knew? About Harry, and how he’s…?” Eggsy hesitated on the word, just in case. He didn’t want to spill any secrets accidentally. 

“Asexual, yes,” Merlin said. “Known since before we even knew what the word for it was.”

Eggsy glowered at Merlin. He’d always been just a little bit jealous of the man for knowing Harry so much longer than he had. For having so many stories and history with him that Eggsy never would. And now he knew this too. 

“It’s not fair,” Eggsy grumbled. 

“Life’s not fair Eggsy. Figured you knew that,” Merlin said his voice light, just a little bit teasing. “So now you just have to figure out what you’re going to do next.”

There was nothing Eggsy wanted to do next. He’d hit a wall and was completely stuck. Everything for the last few months of his life had been “Harry Harry Harry” on an endless loop in his head. Nothing could make it stop. Even in Harry’s presence, training, having tea, it was a dull murmur throughout his body. The only thing that had ever come close to drowning it out, roaring through his body louder than that refrain was the adrenaline rush that went through him when he worked.

“Gimme a mission,” Eggsy said suddenly, his eyes lighting up with determination. 

“No way,” Merlin said, scoffing. “Agents must be physically, mentally, and emotionally stable to go into the field.”

“Please Merlin,” Eggsy begged, drawing out the ‘please’ dramatically. “You can put me on bloody surveillance if you want. Just… get me out of London.”

Merlin looked at Eggsy skeptically. If anything, Eggsy’s offer to do surveillance, missions that Eggsy had more than once bribed his way out of, made him even more reluctant to send him out anywhere. But then again, having him around headquarters, with Harry, probably wouldn’t do him any good either. Ideally if he could just get Harry to take a vacation for a week or two…

“I’ll see what I can find you. Just go home for today.”

“Thanks, Merlin,” Eggsy said. A small smile touched his lips, though it didn’t meet his eyes. He left Merlin’s office and snuck out of the tailor shop much more carefully this time, making sure he did not run into Harry, and could make it home.


	3. Chapter 3

Surveillance in Ho Chi Minh city, Vietnam. Eggsy loved the pho and bahn mi sandwiches. Surveillance in Lima, Peru. He took a picture of a roasted guinea pig and sent it to Roxy. Surveillance in Denver, USA. He smoked some weed. Surveillance, surveillance, surveillance. In the span of a month he hit 13 cities and spent a collective 63 hours in London, long enough to debrief, get a quick medical check, and head out on the jet for the next job. Eggsy was a machine, with eyes and ears to collect information and deliver it. He had no time for thoughts. That’s what he told himself anyway.

“Merlin, this is getting ridiculous,” Harry said as he signed off on Eggsy’s 14th surveillance mission for that month, a new record for Kingsman.

“Do you know how hard it is to wrangle knights into doing these missions? Even Lancelot gives me guff. If I have a willing body, I’m going to take advantage of it.”

“This is the last one, then you give him a break. If he doesn’t want to be in the office, then give him a holiday, he bloody well deserves it with that pace.”

“Should we schedule a vacation for you when he gets back?” Merlin asked.

“I think it’s time to get things back to normal.”

“You think you can do that with him?”

“We managed,” Harry said. 

~

The Black Prince again. It had been well over a month and Roxy was giving Eggsy that look like you do when you have to put your dog down but you want to take him out for one last walk and you don’t even yell at him when he wants to roll in something disgusting. Eggsy looked like that dog when you finally got him to the vet and he realized what was going on.

“So the mystery’s been solved?” Roxy asked.

“Yeah,” Eggsy said.

“But you won’t tell me what it is,” Roxy said, trying her best not to pout.

“Can’t. S’personal,” Eggsy said, burying his nose in his beer so he didn’t have to meet her eyes. He could keep a secret, they all knew that. But it felt wrong keeping one from Roxy. 

“I’m sorry, Eggsy,” Roxy said. “And while I’m grateful that you took Paolo Alto and Cairo off my schedule, I am glad you’ll finally be home for a few weeks. I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you too,” Eggsy said with a smile. It felt like a real smile too, because Roxy could do that for him.

“We’ll have a day out, OK? Practice some lifts, do some parkour?”

“I’ll wipe the floor with ya,” Eggsy said. 

“Don’t be so sure! I’ve been practicing.”

~

Things went mostly back to normal. As much as they can when you work in the same place as the man you want desperately. Eggsy wouldn’t say it wasn’t awkward. It was. Never sure what to say, or where to look when he found himself with Harry, in debriefs, and meetings, and the gym. He found himself repeating, in Harry’s voice, ‘manners maketh man’ every time he had to talk to Harry. He relied on manners and politeness as best he could. Be professional. Be respectful. Don’t let Harry know he’s still fantasizing about his arse. And getting half a stiffy when he remembers that one, perfect kiss behind the bar. 

But it would pass, Eggsy told himself. He’d get over it, like he had other rejections in his life. He’d just swallow this one down too and move on, and eventually, it wouldn’t feel like a wide, gaping hole in his chest. He just wished it would hurry the fuck up.

“You did well on your last mission, Galahad,” Harry said to him in the dining room one day. There had just been a knight-wide meeting, with most agents checking in via their glasses. Roxy and Merlin had been there in person, but were already leaving the room. Eggsy somewhat suspected they were doing that on purpose and hated them both for it.

“Thank you, Arthur,” Eggsy said. Polite smile in place. 

“Your shooting, in particular, was exceptional. I think our training sessions paid off well.”

“They were very helpful,” Eggsy said, and then silence fell between them. Eggsy wasn’t sure if he should just leave and end yet another awkward situation, or try to speak. But he didn’t know what to say. Didn’t know what else Harry would say.

“I hope we can be friends again someday,” Harry said, splitting through the silence.

“Me too,” Eggsy said, a little relief sinking into his wound, because he was glad he wasn’t the only one missing something.

“But not today,” Harry said, and it was almost a question, but not quite.

“No, not today,” Eggsy agreed, and he finally felt like he could turn away and leave the room. “I’ll see you later, Harry.”

“Of course, Eggsy.”

~

“Galahad, take the next left, and head straight for the door,” Merlin said through Eggsy’s earpiece on his glasses. His voice was a calm, steady presence in his ear while Eggsy worked his way through the compound. Files extracted, thin security handled with a few amnesia darts, and Eggsy was clear without a hassle. Most missions weren’t as flashy as V-day, which Eggsy was a bit relieved about. And most of them weren’t even as boring as surveillance (which he’d begged off of for a solid month once Merlin cleared him for more active missions). But these were the bread and butter of Kingsman. Stealing intel, sabotaging plans, all before they blew up into something bigger and more dangerous. Knowing this was preventing the world from blowing up helped Eggsy accept the less than exciting work.

Eggsy took the left Merlin mentioned, and as he turned the corner, a bullet whipped over the bridge of his nose, ticked the edge of his glasses, and knocked them clean off. Eggsy ducked quickly back around the corner, reimagined the scene by the door as he’d been well trained-to do, and when he whipped back around the corner again wielding both of his guns, his aim was deadly accurate. All three guards waiting by the door for him dropped to the floor. 

Eggsy took a steadying breath, waiting to see if anyone else would turn up, and then looked around for his glasses. The edge over the lens was chipped, and the glass itself had a clean crack through it. As he put the glasses back on, he heard Merlin’s voice growing louder.

“…gsy are you all right? What happened?” Merlin called through the line, his voice not nearly as calm and controlled as it had been before. There was an edge of panic and concern ringing in Merlin’s voice, and Eggsy swallowed hard when he heard it, some of Merlin’s emotions hitting him as well.

“I’m fine, Merlin. Bullet clipped my glasses. Feed OK on the right lens?” Eggsy asked as he made his way to the door, being sure to look over the damage he’d done so Merlin could gather what had happened. 

“It’s fine… but Christ Eggsy…” Merlin said with a heavy sigh. “Just an inch to the right…”

Eggsy froze at that. Getting shot at always left him a little shaky, the adrenaline after a gun fight leaving his hands trembling. Near misses weren’t uncommon for Kingsman, and he’d had his fair share of getting clipped where his bullet proof suit didn’t cover. This bullet hadn’t even hit him, just nearly so. But if it had been an inch to the right…

“And an inch to a left, it would have missed me completely,” Eggsy said as calmly as he could. “Now how about that door code so I can get home?”

“Right, of course, Galahad,” Merlin said, his voice finally cooling to the professional clarity of before, the use of Eggsy’s codename a further sign of that, and it made Eggsy feel calmer as well. The adrenaline that had barely had time to come over him in the brief gun fire, melted away quickly, leaving him steady as he punched in the code that Merlin rattled off to him.

~

‘Just an inch to the right’ kept playing over and over again in Eggsy’s head, perfectly recreated in Merlin’s Scottish brogue.

While he showered in the morning and put on his suit before heading into the office, he heard ‘just an inch to the right.’

When he was in the pub with Roxy, smiling, joking, trying to follow her every word and respond at the right time in the right way, he heard ‘just an inch to the right.’

When he debriefed with Merlin, he could almost imagine Merlin himself saying the words again ‘just an inch to the right’ while he was talking about something else completely. 

And as he walked up the steps of Harry’s house one night, and knocked on the door, it was to the same cadence of ‘just an inch to the right’ for the last time before the words finally fell silent as Harry opened his door and looked confusedly at Eggsy waiting on his step to be let in. 

“Almost died last week,” Eggsy said instead of a greeting as he brushed past Harry to get inside, just as Harry voiced the invitation.

“When?” Harry asked, concern in his voice, some confusion. He hadn’t heard of anything, didn’t even know that Eggsy had been hurt. He should have been told about it. It should have been in the report.

“A near miss,” Eggsy conceded. “Bullet went past my nose, whoosh,” he gestured over the bridge of his nose to show how the bullet passed by without scathing him. “But I couldn’t help but think, just an inch to the right, and it’d be in one temple, out the other. No surviving that. You would know.” Eggsy finished, looking Harry not quite in the eye, but just a bit off to the side at the scar around his temple, his souvenir from Valentine. 

“Just an inch to the right,” Harry murmured thoughtfully as he touched his scar. For him, an inch to the side would have meant his eye, and a much lower chance of survival. In fact, probably none. “We all have close brushes with death, Eggsy. It’s the nature of the work,” Harry said soothingly. He was surprised this hadn’t come up sooner. Roxy had experienced a full blown panic attack a few months ago and needed a 2 week holiday to recover after a thug cut her throat and she nearly bled-out. 

“Yeah, but it wasn’t the dying thing that really bothered me, Harry. It was that I never got a chance with you. So I just thought to myself, fuck it. I don’t need to get my dick wet. I just want to be with you.”

Harry smiled fondly at Eggsy as he once again shoved his way through adversity, throwing common sense and rationale to the wayside. As always, it was endearing, flattering, even if it was misplaced. And as always, very hard to resist.

“Eggsy, I appreciate the sentiment, but I don’t think you fully understand-”

“No, you’re right. I don’t fully understand, yet,” Eggsy said earnestly. “Like, that stuff I said when I found out, about plants and stuff? That wasn’t on. And I’m sorry about that. But… that don’t mean we won’t work out. I mean, there’s plenty of other allosexuals and asexuals who have relationships so why not-”

“I beg your pardon?” Harry asked, so surprised that he brushed over Eggsy’s apology and took a turn at interrupting him for once.

“Allosexual, that’s me. Just means people who feel sexual desire,” Eggsy said, repeating the phrase nonchalantly, with all the confidence of a student with new vocabulary.

“I know what an allosexuals is… Eggsy, have you been… Researching?”

“Course I have,” Eggsy said, looking just a bit offended that Harry was so surprised. “Found all these stories about asexuals and allosexuals dating, getting married, having babies. Like, it ain’t that strange.”

“Some people think it’s pretty strange,” Harry said, smiling at Eggsy’s words, but his eyes a little darkened by his own experiences. 

“Well, some people is pricks,” Eggsy said bluntly. “Harry, I ain’t asking you to marry me or nothing, but, we could give it a go. Maybe it won’t work out. Sometimes people break up, you know? But, unless there’s something else you’re keeping from me, like that vampire thing? Then I don’t see an obstacle.”

“Oh Eggsy,” Harry said, a sigh of surrender in his voice, fondness softening his features. It hadn’t ever happened like this before. No persistence. No acceptance. No apology in the face of ignorance. Eggsy, as always, was full of surprises.

Eggsy’s eyes lit up at those words, at that almost smile. He stepped closer to Harry, in his personal space, but not touching him. “Harry, would you go on a date with me?” 

“Yes, Eggsy,” Harry said, the surrender complete as relief washed through his voice. He reached out for Eggsy, for the first time in months and months of restraint, pulled him close, and kissed him on the lips.

~

“So kissing is OK?” Eggsy asked.

The very next night, they were at Saralina’s again, at Harry’s suggestion, to wash out the bad taste of Eggsy’s first attempt. Their appetizer had just arrived, paired well with the wine Harry had selected, and the lecture he’d given to Eggsy about it. Harry could see Eggsy brimming with questions, as was normal on a first date, though these would surely be a bit more targeted.

“I could kiss for hours,” Harry said with a hungry smile at the thought of kissing Eggsy, whenever he pleased. “I’ve been told it can be a bit frustrating. You’ll have to remind me if you want to stop.”

“Yeah,” Eggsy said, looking like the idea of ‘stop’ was incomprehensible. “And like, hugging, or holding hands?”

“Yes. I can confidently say any sort of touching that would be appropriate in public, I am very happy with,” Harry said as he reached over to place his hand on top of Eggsy’s. Eggsy curled his fingers back, holding tightly like he hadn’t been allowed to the first time they’d tried this. 

“OK,” Eggsy said, grinning happily, and then he turned to his appetizer, taking an eager bite and then sipping his wine.

“Is that all you want to know?” Harry asked, looking a bit perplexed when Eggsy’s line of questioning ended.

“On the first date, sure,” Eggsy said, grinning. “I am a gentleman after all.”

“Of course,” Harry said with a grin. “Which is why you’re eating your food with your fingers, rather than your fork? We’ve been over this at least a dozen times.”

Eggsy grinned impishly, wiped his fingers and picked up the fork Harry pointed to, and then, in heightened gentlemanly fashion, continued to eat his appetizer with a pinky raised. He lifted his eyebrows for Harry’s approval and was rewarded with a forgiving smile. 

The rest of dinner went as one expected, as Harry and Eggsy fell back into casual conversation that they hadn’t enjoyed in months. Throughout most of the meal, Eggsy did not let his hand pull from Harry’s, and Harry did not mind it one bit. He squeezed Eggsy’s fingers occasionally when Eggsy’s grip loosened, and then Eggsy would squeeze back, smile brightly, and warmth would flood through Harry’s chest. Why had he ever bothered to resist this?

After dinner, Eggsy walked Harry back to his house, and unsurprisingly, Harry was the one that had to draw Eggsy into the goodnight kiss. He pulled him close by his tie, from where Eggsy had been lingering shyly a step below Harry. It was a little deeper than the night before, a press of lips, then a swipe of tongue. Their mouths opened briefly for a taste, and lasted, a gentle twining of longing finally given into. Minutes passed where nothing touched but their lips and tongues, and where Harry still held Eggsy’s tie. Finally, Harry pulled away.

Eggsy looked up at Harry, eyes dazed and delectable. “Christ Harry, you kiss like you’re starving,” Eggsy mumbled, touching his mouth and licking his lips. Harry was tempted to dart in again.

“You’ve no idea Eggsy. I’ll see you tomorrow? Tea in my office?”

“Yes, Harry,” Eggsy said, his grin victorious before he bounded down the steps to head home. Harry watched him go and let out a sigh. Surely, this would not end well, but he’d enjoy it for a bit anyway. 

~

“You called me, Arthur?” Merlin asked the next morning, stepping into Harry’s office.

“Harry,” Harry said while he gestured to the seat in front of him. Merlin took it and relaxed, as this was to be a personal conversation rather than a professional one. “I wanted you to hear it from me first rather than the rumor mill… Eggsy and I went on a date last night.”

“How delightful,” Merlin said, his face deadpan and unreadable.

“I know you don’t approve, but I don’t give a shit.”

That earned an eye roll from Merlin. “You know it’s not that I disapprove, though there is plenty for me to disapprove of about a relationship with a younger man who works under you. I’m just worried about you.”

“I know,” Harry said gently. “But I am a grown man capable of making rational decisions.”

“Yes, but Eggsy-”

“Is also capable of making rational decisions,” Harry said, joyfully interrupting Merlin. “He has surprised us in every other area, there’s no reason for me to feel he wouldn’t in this as well.”

“It’s still a lot to ask,” Merlin said skeptically.

“I’ve never asked anything of him, but I will take what is offered, over and over again. I only ask that you be my friend and support me rather than lurk around scowling in Eggsy’s general direction.”

“I would never scowl in Eggsy’s general direction,” Merlin said, looking offended. “My scowl is always direct and intentional.”

“And please leave the ‘I told you so’ to yourself if this goes tits up,” Harry said, a little plead in his voice.

“And rob me of all my pleasures?” Merlin scoffed as he stood up. “But I’ll get a nice bottle of scotch and let you drink yourself sick if you like.”

“That’s real friendship,” Harry said, then looked up as Eggsy entered the room without knocking, carrying two cups of tea. He looked vaguely awkward when he saw Merlin. “Ah, good morning Eggsy.”

“Morning, Harry,” he grinned, then, “Morning Merlin,” he said a bit more cautiously as Merlin was actually scowling at him now. Harry had to hide an amused smile behind his hand. Merlin gave him a  
scowl too, just to show him what he meant. Then he left them alone to their resumed morning ritual.

“What was that all about? Thought he was going to bite my head off,” Eggsy said, setting down Harry’s cup and taking the seat Merlin had just left.

“Don’t mind Merlin, if he scowls at you, he’s just showing his support.”

“Funny way of showing it,” Eggsy said, but he shrugged it off and got himself into gossip mode. Someone in the vehicle department was pregnant, but wasn’t sure who the father was. IT had pulled a prank on accounting, something to do with their save screens and a screamer. One of the older women had apparently fainted, but was unharmed. Finally, Eggsy was quite certain he knew who Roxy’s crush was, but he’d still wait for her to tell him. Harry marveled at Eggsy’s observations and made a mental note that perhaps he really was suitable for surveillance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Where did Eggsy do research? Mostly from [Asexual Visibility and Education Network](http://www.asexuality.org/home/) This is a good place to learn some terms, hear some stories, and you can join the community too!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author Note: This chapter contains heavy kissing between Harry and Eggsy as well as romantic touching (not erotic). There is also reference to physical arousal and masturbation.

Eggsy told Roxy to come around his house at eight for dinner, but she must have sensed something in his voice, because she was there at 7:55, with a six pack of beer and an expectant blank expression on her face. In a flash, she could be the perfect sympathetic friend, or filled with jubilant celebration, whatever it was Eggsy needed. 

Eggsy wouldn’t say he was a good cook, but he had the basics down, so he could make spaghetti with meatballs. Never mind that the meatballs came frozen, he’d pan fried them himself with olive oil before cooking them in the sauce, and that made it a bit better. His mum praised him for it, and he wondered if he could make it for Harry without embarrassing himself. 

“Well spill,” Roxy demanded. She’d popped a bottle open, and with a lack of ladylike charm, but an eye on practicality to save a glass, she drank from the bottle. 

“Not yet,” Eggsy mumbled, nervously. Roxy was his best mate. Took him in day one without any judgement. So he wanted to tell her everything, like, everything as in he had to ask Harry if it was OK that he told Roxy everything. Not just that they’d had a date, but the other thing too that not many people knew because as Harry’d put it; “Frankly, it’s no one’s business.”

“Just tell me if it’s good news or bad. I’ve been dying all day to know what this is about.”

“It’s good,” Eggsy said, smiling, broad and uncontrollable, and Roxy returned it. She had hopes, of course about what the news could be, and this smile added to that hope. She hadn’t seen Eggsy smile like that in months, but she didn’t want to hope too much. It could very well be he was getting sent to Vietnam again and could have all the pho he wanted. 

“Work or personal?” she prodded.

“Oi, just set the table or somethin’,” Eggsy said, gesturing to his cabinets while he started putting the food together. Straining the pasta, plating the meatballs and sauce. 

Roxy tutted, but did as told. It definitely wasn’t Vietnam then, if he was so jittery. She went to the cabinets, knew her way around by then, and took out the simple plates Eggsy had and set them on the kitchen table. Put down silverware, cracked a beer for Eggsy, then sat expectantly, eyes boring into Eggsy to force him to talk. She excelled in interrogation with a mastery of techniques Kingsman had not seen in decades.

Eggsy set down the food with a little fanfare, but then crumbled under Roxy’s scrutiny and slumped into his chair, grinning stupidly. “Had a date with Harry last night.”

“You did not!” Roxy said instantly, assuming Eggsy was winding her up. “Did you? No, you couldn’t have! Eggsy!”

“Swear down! We went to Saralina’s again and he even gave me a good night kiss, so definitely a date.”

“Yes, Eggsy!” Roxy cheered, convinced enough to let herself get excited for a high-five. Because really, this, over all things, deserved a high-five. Eggsy returned it, eagerly, looking very pleased with himself about this victory. “Then what was the mystery? Why’d he push you away for so long?”

“Well, that…” Eggsy turned a bit nervous. Harry had somewhat reluctantly given Eggsy permission to tell Roxy, because he didn’t like to keep secrets from his best mate and Harry trusted her too, to be discreet, but most importantly, not judgmental. Eggsy, knew, or hoped, really, that Roxy would understand, but there was still just a little wrinkle of doubt. Harry said Merlin supported them, but there was something there that was not 100%. He worried this would happen with Roxy, too. So he stalled. Put steaming spaghetti on her plate and doused it with red sauce and meatballs. Roxy recognized the stall and waited patiently. She even took a few bites as Eggsy served himself. 

“He doesn’t have a toupee,” Eggsy said, timing it perfectly as Roxy had a mouthful of spaghetti dangling from her lips. He snorted as she spat it onto her plate or risk choking while her body wracked with suppressed laughter. She looked up and glared at him, but with a soft smile. The revenge was long awaited. 

“No, it’s that… Harry’s…” Eggsy hemmed and hawed, trying to spit the words out. He’d practiced this a dozen times in his head. He could do this. “He’s asexual… so. That’s why he didn’t want to… with me.”

“Oh,” Roxy said, because she needed to respond in some way, but also needed to think about that for a moment. This scenario had been totally unexpected, so unknown that it hadn’t even come up as a possibility. That irked her a bit and she made a mental note to expand her research into the area. No time like the present to start.

“If Harry is asexual, then how will you…?” she drifted off, partly because she wasn’t sure how to word this, and also, unsure she wanted those kinds of details about Eggsy and her boss. Whatever they were.

“We haven’t talked about it yet, really. We’re just trying things out,” Eggsy said, clearly a little uncomfortable himself about the topic, but powering through it anyway. 

“But where can you go with this? I mean he can’t… right?” Roxy asked.

“He can,” Eggsy said. “He’s done honeypots. But, he doesn’t want to. S’like, if you’re a lesbian, you could have sex with men, but you don’t want to.”

“Oh,” Roxy said. That was simple enough. But. “But then, that would be why I wouldn’t date men either. He would want to have sex with me, and I wouldn’t. You, you’re not asexual, are you Eggsy?” Roxy said, realization dawning on her in the middle of her sentence, worried she’d been woefully ignorant about her best friend too.

“No. I’m not,” Eggsy said. “I want to have sex. But, I also want Harry, so. We’re going to try it out. That’s all. Few dates. See how it goes.”

Roxy bit her lip, holding back the doubts that wanted to work their way up her throat. Caution that seemed natural and instinctive to her, but would likely wipe away that happy grin Eggsy was barely holding back. Instead, she smiled. Nodded. “OK,” she said, looking as happy for Eggsy as she could.

“Thanks, Rox,” Eggsy said. “Now, tell me who you’ve got your eye on. S’only fair.”

“What? I feel tricked. I came over here expecting dinner not an inquisition.”

“Quit whining and dish.”

“Uhg, fine. It’s Amelia, are you happy?”

“I knew it!”

“You did not,” Roxy insisted. “We’ve been the model of discretion.”

“Oh yeah? Check this,” Eggsy said as he pulled a piece of paper out of his pocket and presented it to Roxy. It had ‘Amelia’ written on it in Eggsy’s hand writing. Roxy felt a little chagrined that Eggsy had found her out, concerned that she might not have been as discreet as she thought, but then also impressed by Eggsy’s observations. 

“How did you know? And don’t you dare say ‘I have eyes.’ I am sick of that expression.”

“Little things, here and there. It got significantly easier when you actually started going out, and blowing me off any night she had free.”

“Thank you by the way for pointing out that rule in the HR manual.”

“Course,” Eggsy said, grinning. “Dig in, then. Tell me what you think.”

“It’s delicious,” Roxy said after a proper mouthful of food that she didn’t need to spit out, and she very nearly meant it. Simultaneously, she also hoped they wouldn’t be sent on any missions where she’d have to rely on his cooking. 

~

Eggsy hadn’t dated much in his life, not formally. He’d gone with a few girls in school, which meant hanging around in front of Tesco’s and snogging. Sometimes they’d grab some fast food together. Or with the few boys he’d been with, well, most of that had been secret out of necessity because of his neighborhood. That consisted of going up to his room to “play video games” and then dry hump on his bed as quietly as they could so his mum wouldn’t hear.

So dating Harry was a unique experience for him on many levels. 

First, of course, were the dates themselves. Harry was a show off and took Eggsy to the fanciest, most expensive restaurants, to really wine and dine him. After the first time, Eggsy did not bother to look at the bill because the digits were simply terrifying. His gentlemanly training had paid off though, and he was well prepared to smile happily at whatever Harry fed him, even if it was weird. He was not prepared to absolutely love everything Harry ordered, no matter how odd it was. Like snails? Drenched in butter and garlic? Who knew bugs could be so delicious. (They’re mollusks, Eggsy, Harry had intoned). Or raw beef, with more raw egg on top of it, smeared on toast? Then there was champagne and caviar, which was the most stereotypical posh food in the world, and Eggsy could not get enough of it. Even after Harry told him what it actually was. And it’s not that he didn’t still like his spicy Nando’s too, but he’d also come to terms with the fact that Harry could put anything in his mouth and he’d go for it.

Second, there was the fact that they worked for a spy organization, so everyone knew what was going on. Well, Eggsy supposed they thought they knew what was going on, if the looks some of the agents gave him when he came out of Harry’s office were any indication. All raised eyebrows, and knowing smirks, except that they didn’t know. Eggsy supposed he was lucky that his fellow Kingsman weren’t too bothered by his relationship with Harry, not the gay bit, nor the age bit. There were a few very low key jibes about favoritism, though they seemed more like envy than anything dangerous. Surprising for a bunch of posh old Englishmen, but he supposed they saw too much be surprised anymore. 

And of course, there was Harry himself. Every move Eggsy made, he was worried he was going to show Harry how right he’d been to push him away, to assume things wouldn’t work out with them. What if Eggsy said the wrong thing? Acted too desperate? Pushed him without even realizing it? So he found himself holding back, skating gently along, eager for Harry, but cautious as well, something he had rarely experienced in his headlong life. So he always waited for Harry to kiss him, to hold his hand, to make the dates, and invite him into his office for tea. Anything Harry wanted. That’s how Eggsy would do it.

“How about you come over for dinner tonight?” Harry asked one day over tea in his office. 

“What, like you’ll cook for me?” Eggsy asked, pleasantly surprised by this suggestion. “Like four course, dessert and everything?”

“I think one course will suffice. But I can manage a pudding for us. What do you think?”

“Yeah. I’d like that.”

“Good,” Harry said, smiling. “And you can bring an overnight bag,” he added, not quite as confidently as he’d asked Eggsy over for dinner.

Eggsy dropped his jaw, but then quickly clicked his teeth shut. “You mean, sleep over? Like…”

“Co-sleeping,” Harry supplied quickly, to push away any assumptions or miscommunication. “If it’s all right with you.”

Harry’s uncertainty was so endearing. It was one of those moments that Eggsy was sure Harry thought he might disappoint him and say the wrong thing. But Eggsy could say nothing but an enthusiastic “Yes!” and was rewarded for it by Harry giving him a bright, pleased smile. Too bad it was only morning and Eggsy would have to wait all day to spend the night with Harry.

~

Rather than follow Harry home after work, Eggsy raced back to his place to pack a bag for the night. There were enough rumors floating around the office that he didn’t need to show up in yesterday’s clothes. He packed quickly, but carefully. A change of work appropriate clothes, then something to sleep in. Boxers? No. Full pajama bottoms. And a t-shirt. He stuffed them in and collected his toiletries. Toothbrush and paste. Deodorant. Razor. He gathered them all up to put in his bag, and paused. Inside were a few other odds and ends he kept in there such as earplugs, dental floss, and eye drops, but then also condoms and a packet of lube. He stared at them for a moment, mind automatically filling in the uses for them with Harry. He jumped to some of his favorite fantasies, which had plagued him with no end for weeks. 

Eggsy shook his head, pushed the thoughts away and threw out the condoms and lube. He packed the rest of his kit and rushed out the door to Harry’s house. 

~

Apparently, Harry’s idea of one course was a full roasted chicken, smashed potatoes, asparagus, and a side salad. As well as the as yet unseen after dinner pudding which was in the oven and smelling delicious. There was no way Harry could have made it all right after work, so he must have prepared it in advance. The thoughtfulness made Eggsy tingle with pleasure. 

They sat in the formal dining room, sitting with Harry at the head of the table, closest to the kitchen, and Eggsy sitting off to his left, close enough to touch. Which Harry did often. Their ankles were tangled together under the table, and when Eggsy was not actively using his right hand to eat, Harry’s hand was on his, gently resting, or massaging over his knuckles, particularly over a most recent scar Eggsy had obtained, as though he could rub the mark away.

When Eggsy was given use of his hand again, he was greedily eating up Harry’s food, because Harry was apparently an awesome cook.

“You been holding out on me,” Eggsy said accusingly after he swallowed another bite of moist, savory chicken. “Parading me around at posh restaurants when we coulda stayed in all this time with you pampering me with home-cooked meals.”

“I’m afraid I don’t always have time for this much work. But it might be worth the effort if you like it so much,” Harry said, smiling with great warmth from Eggsy’s praise of his cooking, and the sheer joy he was expressing. How could it be so wonderful to make someone else so happy?

“You could teach me. Then I could help. We could cook together.”

The thought of Eggsy in his kitchen, donned in one of Harry’s aprons, bumping elbows with him, flour on his cheeks, laughter and smiles turning into slow, languid kisses while leaning back against the sink. It made Harry’s heart race with excitement and he had to tamp down on that a little before he nodded in agreement. “I’d like that very much,” he said more sedately than he felt. 

“Now how about that dessert? I can smell it has cinnamon in it,” Eggsy asked.

“Help me wash up, first,” Harry said, and when Eggsy whined, he added. “And we’ll take dessert in the living room on the couch.” That perked Eggsy right up and Harry never saw him move as quickly as he did when he cleared the table and brought the dishes into the kitchen. Harry went to the sink to fill it with warm water and soap and started washing the dishes by hand. He felt his heart racing again when he saw Eggsy pick up a dry dish towel and stand expectantly, waiting for wet dishes. Domestic fantasies of Eggsy next to him each night washing up flashed through Harry’s mind, greedily, and he pushed them away, handing off a plate to Eggsy and not watching him thoroughly dry it off and set it aside, used to it as any young man who grew up without a dishwasher. 

As Harry finished the dishes and rinsed out the sink, Eggsy took it upon himself to fill the tea kettle and set it to boil. He banged around a few cabinets to find the cups and saucers, and the small dessert dishes. With time, he’d learn his way around, Harry hoped. 

They made a tray to carry into the living room, tea made to each their liking, napkins, and individual apple tarts, which indeed had cinnamon in them, as Eggsy had smelled. Harry set the tray on his coffee table and sat directly in the middle of the couch and then invited Eggsy to sit beside him. Eggsy sat, but with a gap between them, and Harry had started to notice this, how cautious Eggsy was. Perhaps this was his chance to put an end to it.

“Come here,” Harry murmured, but he didn’t wait for Eggsy to scoot just an inch closer. He wrapped an arm around his waist and pulled him in tightly, so they were snug against each other, from ankle to shoulder. “That’s better,” Harry said into Eggsy’s ear, laying a kiss on his neck for good measure. Eggsy let out a sigh beside him, like relief, and relaxed against Harry, leaning into him comfortably while they sipped their tea and ate.

“You know, you can touch me when you like, Eggsy,” Harry said bluntly when they’d finished their dessert. He took Eggsy’s hand in his, to strengthen his point. “In fact, I’d prefer it if you did.”

“Sorry,” Eggsy said, having the decency to look sheepish at having been caught. “I just don’t want to do anything you wouldn’t like.”

“I’ll tell you if I don’t like something,” Harry said, a promise. “But you should be able to try things as well without being afraid I’ll break it off. And really, I do want you to touch me.”

“Harry…” Eggsy said, a little tremble in his voice, because he’s dreamed about words like that coming out of Harry’s mouth, though the context had been a little different, a little breathier.

“I may not feel sexual desire, but I still want contact, haven’t you ever noticed?”

Eggsy thought about it for a moment, relying on his honed observational skills to remember details that he’d catalogued without thinking. He could recall now how Harry often touched people unobtrusively. He would place his hand on Merlin’s shoulder while he watched the feeds. He would pat Roxy on the back when she did well. He would touch Percival’s arm to get his attention, then often leave it there for much of the conversation. None of this was unusual, never inappropriate, but seen through a new lens, Eggsy felt his heart shudder in sympathy. He responded the only way he could and slid his arm around Harry, then his other arm, so they were pressed awkwardly together chest to chest while Eggsy tried to get closer.

Harry touched his head, tilted his chin up, and kissed him. Soft at first, a light kiss tinged with cinnamon and tea, then deeper, hungrier. Eggsy scrabbled at Harry, moved his arms around his shoulders and then they slid back onto the couch, Harry’s head against the arm rest, Eggsy on top of him with their legs turned awkwardly still on the floor. Harry threw his arms around Eggsy in return, both of their grips tight and unforgiving, like the other one wanted to escape, but neither of them did. 

Harry rucked up Eggsy’s shirt and his hands slid underneath, grazing over Eggsy’s skin and letting out a soft noise of pleasure and deep satisfaction. He dug his fingers deep into Eggsy’s flesh, squeezing and pinching lightly wherever he could reach. Little bursts of noise escaped Eggsy, flooded into Harry’s mouth with each touch as he wiggled on top to get more comfortable.

Together, they moved on the couch, seeking to get closer without breaking their kisses. Their legs were a tangled mess, hands and elbows everywhere. Finally, with twin sighs of relief, they found their comfort with Eggsy straddling Harry’s hips, the man’s long legs tucked up behind him to lend him support, and sometimes a teasing push forward when Eggsy pulled away for breath. Harry hadn’t been kidding when he’d said he could kiss forever. 

“Out of breath already?” Harry asked, showing mock disappointment when he looked up at Eggsy. There was a challenge in his voice as well, and Eggsy loved a challenge. He could hold his breath for more than seven minutes, so what was a bit of snogging compared to that? He moved back in, slowly, eyes open so he could watch Harry grinning at him. A touch of lips first, a tongue slipping out to touch, Harry parting his lips to let Eggsy in. Slow, languid, a sweet intimacy that Eggsy had rarely enjoyed with past partners. A rhythm overtook him, rolling through him as he tilted his head this way, then that, thrust his tongue in, then pulled back, making Harry chase him before meeting back with him, holding Harry’s face so he couldn’t escape. It was hot and primal and… very bloody arousing.

Eggsy jerked back, breathless and panting, sat up straight with his hands not very discreetly hovering over his lap. He felt hot all over and hoped Harry thought he was just flushed from their hot snogging, and not incredibly embarrassed.

“What’s the matter?” Harry asked, alarmed by how quickly Eggsy had sat up. 

“Leg cramp,” Eggsy said quickly. “Let’s shift a bit, yeah?”

“Leg cramp?” Harry asked, doubtfully, and he looked Eggsy over, surveying for discomfort. “Ah,” he said, when his eyes lit on Eggsy’s hands, made the connection with the embarrassed look on his face. “Come here,” he said as he reached for Eggsy and pulled him down, bringing their bodies back into close contact. Eggsy squirmed, tried to hold himself up on his knees to limit the contact, but Harry, with no small effort over Eggsy’s muscular body, finally got a good enough grip that he couldn’t get away. Eggsy whined, his erection trapped tightly between his belly and Harry’s and throbbing for more when he really wished it would go away completely.

“Harry,” Eggsy protested. Since he couldn’t find a way to escape physically, maybe he could plead his way to freedom and the chance to sulk and die of shame alone. 

“You don’t have to be embarrassed about that, Eggsy,” Harry said to his captive audience. “It’s natural for you. I don’t expect you to not react.”

“Just thought you’d want to stop,” Eggsy said, still sounding a bit petulant, but he did relax in Harry’s hold, then further when Harry released his death grip in response. “’cause… aint you like… repulsed by it?”

Harry raised his eyebrows at Eggsy’s very specific vocabulary choice. “No, no not at all darling. I’m not sex repulsed,” he said reassuringly. “Do you think I could do honeypots if I was?”

Eggsy shrugged. “I suppose you’d do something if Kingsman told you, wouldn’t you?”

“Kingsman is a blunt weapon in many things, but not that,” Harry said seriously. He kept his arms around Eggsy and gently stroked his hair, his touch warm and soothing. “The intimate nature of those missions leaves much to the agent’s discretion. As such, Percival never seduces men. Lamorak, conversely never seduces women. Once Gawain was married, he refused them outright. Remember that when it’s part of your mission brief. You’re young and you want to prove yourself, but you needn’t push beyond your comfort zone.” 

“You’ve taken them though,” Eggsy pointed out. He’d reviewed them himself, the written reports anyway. The video feeds had been tempting, but his moral compass won out on that one. 

“A handful of times,” Harry said dismissively. “Only when it was the most expedient and necessary. And only men, as you know.”

“What’s it like for you?”

“Sex? A bit boring, tedious. I’ve always thought of it like folding laundry, not a painful chore, but nothing that interesting either.”

“Now that’s a lie,” Eggsy said, smiling. “You love folding laundry, and anything else to do with clothes, admit it.”

Harry let out a burst of laughter after just the tiniest moment of tension when Eggsy called him a liar. The joke, the tease. It was so much better than the awful he had come to expect so often. “Please kiss me some more,” he said. And Eggsy did.

~

It felt like hours more of kissing, but it really hadn’t been. At some point, Harry had turned on the news, and Eggsy had taken out his phone. They were still piled together on the couch, touching wherever they could, and Harry would lean in for a quick snog during the commercial breaks. Eggsy only dropped his phone twice.

Eggsy was the first to yawn, filled with food, comfortable, completely at ease, and then Harry quickly followed. He turned off the television and suggested they go to bed. Eggsy felt a little tingle go through his body at the mention of bed, a Pavlovian response, and he tamped it down while he followed Harry upstairs to his bedroom.

The room was huge, with a walk-in closet, and ensuite bathroom. The bathroom had a full tub, wide counter for the sink, and plenty of room to move around in. The bedroom was just as spacious, with all the plush accommodations Eggsy would have expected, a bench at the foot of the bed, thick wool carpets, an intimidating bed frame of dark mahogany. And the bed. Just a queen, expected, once Eggsy thought about it, since Harry slept alone. He swallowed at the thought of them sharing that tight space. 

“I’ll change. You can use the loo first,” Harry said and headed into his closet. The door was mostly closed, and Eggsy sensed that was for privacy. He slipped into the bathroom and changed quickly, brushed his teeth, used the toilet, and washed up. He lingered inside a moment longer, then returned to the bedroom. Harry was still in the walk-in. Eggsy hedged, then climbed into bed. There were tables on either side of the bed, but only one had a clock and a book by it. He assumed that was Harry’s ‘side’ and took up the other, trying to get comfortable and look smooth about it.

Harry finally emerged, in a full set of silk pajamas, and looked over to Eggsy. He paused, looked Eggsy over for a moment, and then slipped into the bathroom himself. In a few minutes, he emerged and paused with his hand on the light switch, looking at Eggsy again and then shaking his head before he switched the light.

“It’s been some time since I’ve slept with anyone,” he murmured as he slipped into bed, his voice a shaky babble in the dark room. “Please let me know if I snore. No need to be polite.”

“You nervous, Harry?” Eggsy whispered back cautiously, relief washing over him to hear Harry with just a bit of uncertainty. 

“Yes. A little,” Harry confessed. He moved closer to Eggsy, laid an arm over his waist. “I like you so terribly much, Eggsy.”

“I like you too, Harry,” Eggsy said. He rolled under Harry’s arm, turning his back so that he was the little spoon, and they were slotted together, shoulder to toes. “Is this OK?”

“If I snore, you won’t be able to escape,” Harry whispered in his ear.

“Don’t wanna escape,” Eggsy said. His body was still buzzing, ready for more, but his mind settled into an easy rhythm, breathing in and out with Harry. He relaxed easily into Harry’s tight embrace, bracketed in with warmth and comfort. Behind him, Harry eased into the space behind him, slowly going laxer and laxer, until they were both sound asleep.

They woke up still tangled together in the morning, and Harry had to ask; “So, do I snore?” But Eggsy just smiled and kissed him.

Eggsy spent the night more often after that, and followed up on his suggestion of cooking with Harry, happily bumping elbows with him, and brushing up his culinary skills. At night, in bed, they were as inseparable as the first time, and it probably wasn’t just because of the small sized bed. And if Eggsy had to get out of bed first in the morning so he could handle his morning wood in the shower without Harry noticing, well, that was no problem. Everything else was just perfect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Harry is not [Sex Repulsed](http://www.asexuality.org/wiki/index.php?title=Repulsed), which will probably work out well for our Eggsy. Instead, Harry is certainly sex-positive for the world in general, and he himself is rather indifferent to it, like folding laundry. More details about Harry's experiences and feelings on sex will come up in later chapters.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING 1: This chapter contains a flashback to the 1980's which discusses treatment of asexuals at the time. This includes language that inaccurately describes Harry's sexuality, and also the use of medication. If readers would like to skip this scene, it is marked with ######## at the beginning and end of the entire flashback. 
> 
> WARNING 2: This chapter contains a graphic description of Eggsy masturbating with Harry watching. If readers would like to skip this scene, it is marked with ********* at the beginning and end of the scene. (The scene ends at the end of the chapter)
> 
> A/N: Sorry the chapters are coming out slowly. School is starting and since I am a teacher AND a student, I have a ton to do. Next chapter will be out asap. Thanks to everyone for reading, giving genuine comments, and great feedback :)

Eggsy was a naturally cheerful young man, but once he’d started up with Harry, and things started going more smoothly, he was positively chipper and it was hard to ignore. Even when he was given surveillance missions, dreaded by rookie and senior agents alike, he took them with a smile and a wink and bounced happily on his way to sit in a café for three days of observation in Belarus. 

Conversely, Merlin could be quite dour, which he chalked up to being Scottish, but it seemed to intensify with Eggsy’s proximity, completely counterpoint to Eggsy’s level of cheerfulness. After some time, Eggsy found that hard to ignore.

“… and then this button will turn on the infrared. It’s biometric, synched to your print,” Merlin said, finishing up his lecture about Eggsy’s new glasses, custom made for each agent with extras to suit their own strengths and abilities. Eggsy had a tendency to misplace his glasses, hence the added security.

“Sick, Merlin,” Eggsy said, trying on the glasses and poking at each new feature. The frames themselves were updated too, smaller and more fashionable, something he and Roxy had both requested. 

“Mmhmm. Try not to lose these before the week runs out.”

“I promise, Merlin. Hey, you got plans this Friday? Harry taught me how to make carbonara, that’s this sauce with eggs in it, so you should come over for dinner. Roxy and Amelia are coming too,” Eggsy said in a quick, cheerful babble, clearly excited by the idea of having a dinner party.

“I’ll pass. Maybe next time,” Merlin said after two seconds of consideration. He didn’t even look up from his tablet. Some of Eggsy’s happy energy disappeared.

“Merlin, you mad at me about something?”

“No,” Merlin said, with a huff of annoyance. He’d known this conversation was going to come, but that didn’t mean he wanted to have it any more, even with preparation. 

“Then why you so cagey around me? Can’t hardly get a laugh or a word out of you anymore.” And now Eggsy looked truly put out, and Merlin felt just a twinge of guilt for making Eggsy upset, though he would never admit it. “Is it about me and Harry?”

“Yes,” Merlin admitted. 

“Harry said you don’t mind it, but it don’t seem like it. Is it ‘cause I’m too young?”

“Not that Harry’s midlife crisis is delightful, but no. Nor is it that he’s your boss, or any of that other nonsense you were bothering him about before. I am merely concerned that you are going to break his heart,” Merlin said sarcastically, as if this were a small matter to be concerned about.

“Ain’t gonna try to,” Eggsy said.

“No, we never set out to break anyone’s heart, but it happens anyway. And when it happens with Harry, I will be there to pick up the pieces, and figure out how to coordinate your missions away from each other.”

“You picked up the pieces a bunch before?” Eggsy asked, guiltily curious about Harry’s previous experiences. By hint and innuendo he’d gathered it had been a long time since Harry had dated anyone, but he knew there had been men before him, somewhere in the ether of Harry’s past. 

“Yes,” Merlin said, then hesitated thoughtfully. He didn’t like to talk about himself much, nor share personal details, but if he really did consider Eggsy a friend, and if he really wanted what was best for him and Harry, then there really was no reason not to share. “And once, a long time ago, I was the one who put him in pieces.”

It took every ounce of Eggsy’s spy training for him not to look absolutely gob smacked when Merlin confessed this to him. It helped, of course, that he wasn’t truly gob smacked. The idea that Merlin and Harry had at some point had some sort of relationship was not completely unimaginable, and in fact had seemed altogether possible in Eggsy’s mind. But he hadn’t put too much thought into it. Hadn’t thought it was any more than a dalliance, or maybe even an affair on the front line. It wasn’t unheard of amongst Kingsman during a crisis.

“What happened?” Eggsy asked, managing not to sound like he was dying of curiosity.

“I think that’s a story you’d best hear from Harry,” Merlin said. “But I want you to know that I loved him deeply and it wasn’t enough. I hope very fervently that it will not be the same for you, but I’m practical and I simply don’t think that will be the case.”

“That’s…” Eggsy felt offended. Attacked in a way, even though he could tell Merlin wasn’t doing that, not deliberately. Still, he felt the need to defend himself, to validate what he and Harry had so Merlin would support it. Would smile and laugh with them and just be happy for them. “Maybe you just didn’t love him right,” Eggsy finally said.

“Maybe,” Merlin said, the word hopeful, but his expression not.

~

“So tell me about when you and Merlin dated,” Eggsy said as casually as he could while he was over Harry’s house for dinner that night. They’d broiled salmon steaks, and light fluffy couscous, and asparagus cooked so al dente, it still crunched. Cooking with Harry was one of Eggsy’s favorite things because between the two of them, Eggsy added an experimental longing for new and foreign foods, while Harry had the techniques and hardware for proper preparation. Harry had just bitten into one of the asparagus spears and nearly choked on it. “Sorry,” Eggsy conceded as Harry sipped water to clear his throat.

“I ain’t ticked or nothing,” Eggsy said, even though he was just a little annoyed that Harry hadn’t been up front, but he was also worried that digging into his past would push Harry away. It might bring him to his senses that it wouldn’t work out with Eggsy either. “I mean, I haven’t told you about all my old flames. But you also don’t work with any of my old flames, so…”

“I’m sorry,” Harry said, having the grace to look just a bit ashamed of himself. “It was such a long time ago, but I suppose that’s not much of an excuse.”

“So what happened?”

“Can we do the washing up first? And I think I’ll need a brandy to bolster my nerves.”

Eggsy nodded and followed Harry into the kitchen. They worked in silence as Harry gathered his thoughts, but thankfully, not without their usual proximity. Harry’s hand touched Eggsy’s as they passed plates. Their hips bumped as they moved around the tight kitchen. Eggsy let some small relief wash over him, his need for Harry answered in those comfortable touches. 

They retreated to the sitting room and Harry helped himself to a large serving of brandy, and one for Eggsy as well, before he sat down on the couch, still close to Eggsy, but not touching him.

“It really was a very long time ago, Eggsy,” Harry started. “I want to reassure you, I have no feelings like that for Merlin anymore.”

“Didn’t think that,” Eggsy said, which was sort of true. If he’d had a list of things he was worried about, Harry carrying a torch for Merlin was about number 437 on the list, so, barely a consideration. But it was good he could take it off completely. “I just want to know what happened.”

~

#############################################################################################################

It was the mid 80’s when Harry had joined Kingsman. He’d passed his trials with flying colors, and with only a minor hesitation, had fired a blank at his dog Mr. Pickle and became Galahad. Shortly after that, he’d been introduced to the handler team, and a handsome young man named Merlin (Yes, Eggsy, that really is his given name) who was also a new addition to Kingsman. They had quite a bit of fun together snarking on about the stuffy old gents running the place, and Merlin was always a welcome, calming presence in his ear during a mission. 

Harry hadn’t thought much of it until he came in from a mission, bleeding profusely with a broken pair of glasses that had stopped transmitting 48 hours before. Merlin had rushed into the medical bay and within full view of the nurses had kissed Harry on the mouth in a panicked frenzy. “Don’t you do that to me again, you bastard,” Merlin had murmured against Harry’s mouth, still clutching him, and Harry clung back, until the nurses, scandalized but insistent, pushed Merlin out of the way so they could tend to their patient.

There really hadn’t been anyone before Merlin, Harry had confessed, a little embarrassed by his inexperience. But it was nice to tell someone that he’d been relieved when he’d woken up on the train tracks to test his loyalty, rather than how well he could seduce a woman. Merlin had been shamelessly excited by the idea of Harry’s virginity. But also considerate and took it slow.

Over the course of a month, they probably snogged on every surface of the Kingsman mansion, always sneaking and hiding what they were up to since homosexuality was still criminal at the time. Kingsman was perhaps a bit more liberal on the issue than the rest of Britain, with those nurses perhaps leading the charge, but it was still better to not shove it in anyone’s face. It wasn’t gentlemanly. 

Harry was nervous about having sex, though he didn’t know why. He liked kissing Merlin, and sitting curled up with him on a sofa watching television when they had the time off together, so naturally, the next step ought to be sex, shouldn’t it? Everyone else seemed so excited about it, and he never had been. He convinced himself it was just nerves since he’d waited so long. 

Except, when they finally did it, in Merlin’s cramped little flat away from the prying eyes of their colleagues, Harry couldn’t help but feel underwhelmed. Beside him, Merlin was glowing and giddy, a shaking mess of pleasure when they’d finished. As always, Merlin was understanding and loving, “It’s all right. Sometimes the first time isn’t so grand. Just takes practice.”

And Harry had believed him, of course. Because surely Merlin knew better about these things, and other people had said similar things as well. It must have just been the anticipation. He’d built it up so much, there was no way it could have lived up to expectations. It’d be better next time.

Except it wasn’t. Nor was it the next time, nor the time after. “Perhaps I’m frigid,” Harry had said one night after Merlin had been having a marvelous time with him and he had lain there, studiously not thinking of England, or else he would laugh, and instead mentally constructing a grocery list.

“Maybe,” Merlin had said, and for the first time, he looked a bit worried. 

Of course, they tried all sorts of things. Oysters and chocolate to put Harry in the mood, hours of kissing and foreplay, switching positions, and even a monstrous electrical device that Merlin had bought at a very discrete store that promised some kind of delight, but which Harry soundly refused to experiment with because he was afraid of electrocution. 

“Is it me?” Merlin had asked one night. They’d tried again and Harry had pushed him away in the midst of his efforts.

“No darling, I love you,” Harry had insisted.

“Then why don’t you want to?”

Harry didn’t know why he didn’t want to. Everything he knew said he should want to have sex with Merlin. All the time, constantly. They were men after all. And he loved him, so shouldn’t that overcome anything?

“I feel broken,” Harry had said.

“No,” Merlin had said, automatically, but he didn’t sound like he meant it. Not as much as Harry had wanted him to.

Perhaps a doctor would have answers. Harry hemmed and hawed his way through his exam, leaving out crucial details about whom he was unable to perform with, and was relieved when the doctor just nodded his head. “Low libido,” the doctor had said. “Uncommon in men,” he’d also said, a trace of judgement in his voice. “Take these. They’ll make you feel normal.”

Harry had cringed inwardly at the word, but pushed it down. He filled the prescription immediately, with the word ‘normal’ bouncing around in his head. There was some relief in that word, but also some unease. He could be with Merlin, properly. They’d be happy, and in love, and everything would be all right.

The pills did as promised. He performed admirably with Merlin, eager, passionate, able to return everything Merlin gave to him and more. And the smile on Merlin’s face was the best part, the relief that it hadn’t been Harry who hadn’t wanted him. Harry had never seen Merlin so happy, and Harry felt happy by extension that he felt it was a fair trade to ignore the disgust he felt for his own body.

He’d never been disgusted before for the infrequent times he’d been aroused. Surprised sometimes, and not sure what to do at others, but it had seemed natural. Now, he didn’t understand what his body was doing. He didn’t always feel what his body felt, but a man forced to follow it nonetheless. It wasn’t wholly unpleasant, not painful, because Harry wouldn’t have continued if it was, and Merlin wouldn’t have asked him too. It was bewildering to be so out of control of his body, to be overwhelmed, but he could handle it, and he would because he loved Merlin so much.

The discomfort he could manage, he was sure of it. And he did for several weeks, and that was perhaps why he didn’t notice it. The undeterred weight gain, despite a harsh diet and vigorous exercise. He had to be refitted for all new suits, at no small expense. It was a bit embarrassing, even if Merlin grabbed greedily at his new love handles, but it was starting to affect his work as well. And then there was the tremor. Barely perceptible at first, and limiting itself to his hands for short bursts, but it became constant, and spread to an annoying jiggering of his legs and tapping of his feet. A surveillance mission of any length was interminable to him. 

The last strike was his latest gun score. He hit the lowest percentile of all active agents in the last 20 years. He couldn’t shoot anymore. So he couldn’t work anymore. And that was something he couldn’t manage. 

“I’m not taking the pills anymore,” Harry had said, and it was the first time he’d seen Merlin angry with him, bubbling just slightly under the surface as Merlin struggled to keep it at bay.

“You’re choosing a job over us?” Merlin had asked, his voice thin with strain. 

“We can still be together,” Harry has offered.

“You expect me to be able to fuck you when I know you hate it?” Merlin’s voice had risen, his anger rising up to response to his frustration.

“We don’t have to fuck,” Harry had said, meekly, not in the face of Merlin’s anger but because it was not much of an offer at all. He knew it was an offer Merlin could not manage. He knew it was an offer that he couldn’t expect any man to manage. But it was all he had to offer.

When they broke up, Harry felt cold, but wrapped himself in the warmth of his reclaimed body. He was himself again, with his own libido, and his own weight, and a steel-steady hand that dealt death with expertise and ease. Merlin wrapped himself in handling, in keeping his agents safe and informed so they could save the world. 

In time, when neither felt quite so cold, when Merlin found someone he could be with in the way he needed, and when Harry found a wonderful word that told him he wasn’t broken, they were friends again. At times, they each apologized, taking turns every now and again, and the other would smile and shake his head. 

####################################################################################################

~

“That bastard,” Eggsy said when Harry finished his story.

“He wasn’t a bastard,” Harry said gently, though he remembers when he had felt that way. “Neither of us knew what was going on, so we did the best we could. It’s hard to get something right when you don’t have all the facts.”

Eggsy grumbled disapprovingly at this response, reluctantly accepting. “Still doesn’t explain why he’s so doomsday about us. You and him not working out doesn’t mean we won’t.”

“No,” Harry conceded. “But perhaps the half a dozen other relationships with allosexuals that didn’t work out has left him a bit… protective, shall we say? I guarantee, it’s not you Eggsy. Merlin just loves his statistics.”

Eggsy grumbled about this as well. He wouldn’t be deterred though. It might not be personal from Merlin’s perspective, but Eggsy was going to make it that way. Merlin was just going to have to accept him with Harry, allosexual and everything. Which reminded him; “Harry, haven’t you ever dated another asexual?”

“Twice. A man, and once when I was very desperate, a woman. But in both cases, the only things we had in common were our sexuality. There aren’t quite as many of us out there, so when I meet someone else like me, I tend to jump on it. But, there isn’t always chemistry, and when there is, it has been with someone like you. It seems to be an unsurmountable obstacle, but I’ve been told I’m very stubborn.”

“I’m glad you are,” Eggsy said, grinning. He leaned in to give Harry a kiss on the lips, offering himself up for Harry to take, which he did, deepening the kiss quickly.

“Don’t worry about Merlin,” Harry husked against Eggsy’s lips between quick, teasing kisses. “We’ll show him, won’t we?”

“’Course we will,” Eggsy said and fell back into the couch cushions, pulling Harry close for more deep, hungry kisses.

~

Harry must have had a ‘chat’ with Merlin. And Eggsy knew what a chat with Harry was like because he’d had a few himself and would like to keep that number as it was. But these chats always served a purpose and this one led to Merlin coming over for that dinner Eggsy had invited him to with Roxy and Amelia, and the five of them had a lovely time eating and drinking too much. Eggsy thinks Merlin might have even been smiling for real by the end of it, seeing Eggsy and Harry in their element for the first time. After that, Merlin wasn’t exactly cheerful, for he never had been, but he didn’t scowl at Eggsy in HQ anymore, and Eggsy didn’t realize he could feel so relieved.

“Harry’s a wonderful influence on you, Eggsy,” Roxy said the next time they had an evening off between missions and could take up their usual place at the Black Prince. “Your cooking is divine.”

“I was always a good cook,” Eggsy said.

“Of course you were,” Roxy said politely, not thinking of the frozen meatballs and jarred sauce Eggsy had prepared for her once, erasing it from her mind in favor of the carbonara, fresh pasta, garlic bread, and tossed salad. Not to mention the apples tarts which Eggsy had bashfully said were Harry’s recipe, but that he’d made all by himself. They’d melted in her mouth. She needed to make Eggsy bake them just for her. Perhaps blackmail could turn him into her personal baking slave.

“Things moving along with Amelia?” Eggsy asked, choosing to ignore Roxy’s insult of his culinary skills. It was all right for him to label himself a shit cook, but that didn’t mean anyone else could.

“Oh yes, quite a bit,” Roxy said, cocking one eyebrow just a little as she sipped her beer. “Didn’t you notice her manicure? Very short on the right hand.”

“I’ll be sure to mention it next time I see her.”

“What about you and Harry? Anything moving along there?”

“We’re going to an opera this weekend, a German one, so we’re gonna try out a theme dinner beforehand, like, schnitzel and Spaetzle,” Eggsy said, a bright, excited gleam in his eye at the thought of trying more new dishes with Harry, even if it meant sitting through an opera afterward. 

“And then… spend the night?” Roxy asked gleefully.

“Yeah,” Eggsy said, then sighed when he realized what Roxy was getting at. “But it ain’t what you think. We co-sleep. Next to each other. Totally unconscious.”

Roxy sighed, looking disappointed. “This whole time? What do you do about… you know, getting backed up?”

“Same thing every bloke does when he’s not getting any,” Eggsy said, grinning as he made a wanking-off gesture with his hand. 

“The least Harry could do is throw you a bone, pun intended. We know he can.”

“Yeah, and I can be celibate,” Eggsy huffed. “So like, what’s the difference? If it’s me or him?”

“Easy, Eggsy. It was a suggestion. If you can be celibate for him, why can’t he have sex with you once in a while? It’d be fairer.”

“Cuz I ain’t gonna ask him to do that,” Eggsy said, not going easy at Roxy’s suggestion. 

“Fine, enjoy your blue balls.”

“Let’s just talk about something else, yeah? Percival’s been a right wanker this week.”

“Do tell,” Roxy murmured politely, frowning a little at the abrupt change in topic. A little knot formed in her stomach as she replayed the conversation in her head, trying to figure out what had turned Eggsy so quickly.

~

Spaetzle, while seemingly easy to make, left Harry and Eggsy clueless about what went wrong. Perhaps the dough was the wrong consistency, because it did not press through the colander easily, and though they boiled it for the time it said, it still came out chewy and gummy. At the last minute, they prepared some pasta to serve with the schnitzel, which came out beautifully, and laughing over their kitchen misfortune, they had a good meal.

After, they went to the opera, which Eggsy didn’t hate, it just wasn’t his first choice for a night out. But then, Harry went to night clubs with him, so this was a fair trade off. Besides, the costumes looked pretty cool, and sometimes the stage effects were amazing. More surprising was when he actually recognized one of the songs (Wasn’t this in a Bugs Bunny cartoon?) and Harry laughed.

Getting a taxi home afterwards was nearly impossible, so they walked home in the warm spring air. They had a cup of tea while Harry watched the news, and then they went to bed, exchanging a few languid kisses before curling together and falling asleep. 

***********************************************************************************************************************************

Eggsy woke slowly the next morning, as he usually did when he was home with Harry. For a while, he was worried his sound sleeping habits would affect his work, but his worry was unfounded. He felt relaxed and comfortable in Harry’s bed, and that did not translate into the field where he slept tensely, ready to wake at the tiniest creak. Staying home was much more enjoyable. 

Eggsy nuzzled into Harry’s warmth for a while longer as his senses slowly returned to him. The sounds from the street, the warmth of the bed, the smell of clean sheets, and finally, his morning arousal caught his attention. He reached down to give his half-hard cock a gentle squeeze through his pajama bottoms, swallowing a soft moan. He started to wiggle away from Harry, carefully extracting himself from his octopus grip so he could relieve himself privately. But then Harry’s arms tightened around him and he murmured sleepily into Eggsy’s ear, “Stay.”

“Just going to the toilet,” Eggsy mumbled back trying, unsuccessfully, to extricate himself from Harry’s tight embrace.

“I know,” Harry said. “And I want you to stay this time. Let me watch.”

“Watch?” Eggsy gulped, for a moment imagining Harry standing over him in the shower as he touched himself. He shook the thought away. “Just gonna-”

“I know you wank off in my shower,” Harry said, his voice so deep and husky with sleep, teasingly accusatory. “This time, stay here. Wouldn’t you like that?”

“H-Harry,” Eggsy stuttered out, his breath catching in his throat as the soft, warm arousal turned into a sharp, burning need deep in his gut. The heat seeped all over his skin, catching hot after being banked for so long.

“Would it be OK?” Harry asked, a small plea in his voice. “I want to see what you look like when you come.”

‘Shouldn’t, shouldn’t, shouldn’t’ echoed in Eggsy’s mind, but it was hard to hear over Harry’s breathy words in his ear. He had no power to resist Harry’s request, and his hand went down to his pajama’s again, squeezing himself and letting out a loud groan, like he never allowed himself while he was in Harry’s shower.

Harry pulled the sheets back, exposed Eggsy, shirtless in the bed, and Harry stayed stuck to him, pressed all along the length of Eggsy’s back so he could see and feel every movement Eggsy made. Eggsy groaned, his hand moving frantically over his prick, still swathed in silk with a little wet spot starting to form from where he was dripping with excitement.

“Pull it out,” Harry ordered, and Eggsy fumbled to obey, pushing the bottoms down to his thighs and wrapping his hand around himself, gasping from the bare skin to skin touch. His hand moved quickly, a few harsh strokes, then slower, catching the beading liquid at the tip and smoothing along his length for a slicker glide. He shivered at the electric touch of it, accompanied by the firm heat of Harry against his back.

“Not gonna last,” Eggsy whimpered, surprising himself. He’d been doing nothing but masturbating for the weeks they’d been dating, but it’d never felt like this before, so intense and heated. 

“It’s all right,” Harry purred, his lips brushing Eggsy’s ear and then sliding down to lay suckling kisses along his neck, firm and hot and sure to leave wine-red bruises. Eggsy’s mouth dropped open, gasping noiselessly, suddenly overwhelmed. He went stiff, tight all over, all his senses focused on where Harry was latched onto his neck, and his hand wrapped around his prick. And then all of that blew outward as Eggsy came, hot sticky spurts of come spilling over his finger tips and staining the sheets next to him.

For several minutes, Eggsy panted softly, eyes closed and head dizzy from the rush of his orgasm. Harry was still a strong, warm presence behind him, and soft lips against his neck while he came back to earth. When he’d finally collected himself enough, he turned around to look at Harry.

“What the fuck was that?” he asked, confusion and a hint of anger coloring his tone.

“Voyeurism,” Harry said calmly. “Well, on my part. I see you have an exhibitionist streak.”

“You might have told me a few weeks ago you’d like to watch me wank. Christ that was hot!”

“Serves you right for sneaking off to the toilet every morning and robbing me of my morning cuddles.”

“I’m sorry,” Eggsy said, wrapping one arm around Harry for said cuddle, while wiping his other come stained hand on the sheets. Harry tugged him closer, enough so that Eggsy’s spent and sticky cock was pressed against Harry’s thigh. Eggsy almost pulled away, but let it lie instead. Harry would tell him if it was off-putting, so he snuggled closer, warm with the afterglow of his orgasm, and from Harry’s tight embrace.

“Now, isn’t this much better than the shower?” Harry murmured, his voice getting thick and slow, a clear sign he was going to drift off again.

“Much better,” Eggsy murmured back. He could feel himself drifting as well and let it roll over him, just for a bit longer. *************************************************************************************************************************************

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6jDcWAWRRHo) is the Bugs Bunny cartoon that Eggsy remembered. It is a parody of Wagner's Der Ring des Nibelungen which is the opera Harry took him to see. (Go see opera! It's awesome!)


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Warning: This chapter contains graphic description of Eggsy engaging in oral sex for a honeypot mission. The sex scene will be marked with ######## at the beginning and end for anyone who does not want to read it.

“Permission to shoot the Prime Minister,” Harry grumbled into a mirror so Merlin could see the seriousness in his face. He was in the guest bathroom of the Kirribilli House in Sydney, Australia, ostensibly to wash his hands, but really to escape the stuffy confines of the man’s dining room and save Harry from leaping over the table to strangle him.

“Permission denied,” Merlin said, sounding like he was enjoying himself too much. “Or have you forgotten our jet fuel problem? It would be nice if we got a little government support once in a while.”

“We’d be better off in the casinos of Montenegro than with this conservative lout. I could bank a few million if you’d just let me.”

“You won’t be living out Casino Royale fantasies under my watch,” Merlin said. He could never understand Harry’s sudden fascination with the latest batch of Bond movies. Just as ridiculous at every turn as earlier versions, and yet he had the whole Daniel Craig set on Blu-ray. 

“You could have at least let me bring Eggsy. He looks wonderful in a tuxedo,” Harry said dreamily.

“As cute as you two are together, no for three reasons. He’s in Suriname dealing with a drug cartel, he’d be too distracting for you, and there is no way he wouldn’t verbally assault the Prime Minister on his conservative policies. And I have a sneaking suspicion you wouldn’t stop him either.” 

“You think we’re cute together?” Harry asked, surprised.

“I’m glad your listening skills have remained keen as ever,” Merlin said drily, then let out a sigh. “And yes, you make a nauseatingly cute couple. Roxy has gigs of photographic evidence on her phone.”

“You almost sound approving,” Harry said. A long enough silence followed that Harry checked his glasses, but Merlin’s line was still open. He raised his eyebrows expectantly in the mirror for Merlin to continue. Even over comms, he could imagine the serious look on Merlin’s face.

“He’s good for you,” Merlin said, and sounded like it cost him to admit it. “I haven’t seen you this happy, this comfortable, in years. I never even got close.”

“Eventually, we need to stop beating ourselves up about that.”

“I’ll officially resign from my apologies duties when you two get married. You have to do the same,” Merlin said, and there was a long silence, where Merlin had the freedom to see the actual serious look on Harry’s face rather than imagine it. “I know that look. You’re thinking something stupid.”

“Marriage isn’t something I’ve…”

“That was a joke, Harry. Don’t get your knickers in a twist.”

“And he’s a bit young for me anyway to consider-” Harry started.

“No, don’t start with any of that other nonsense,” Merlin said exasperated. “He already argued you out of all the other sensible reasons for you not to date. You’re doomed now. Stuck with him forever.”

“Forever is a bit-”

“Forever,” Merlin insisted. “I’m going to take his side and give him that scotch if you break his heart.”

“Traitor,” Harry said, sour, but not angry.

“My interest is your happiness, which seems to be Eggsy. Now head back to that dinner before they think you’re constipated or have crawled out the window.”

Harry looked longingly at the window which he was considering was probably not too small for him to squeeze through if he popped a shoulder out of joint. But sighed and returned to the smiling polite façade needed to woo politicians out of their money. Well, at least happiness was waiting for him at home.

~

“Now I want to rewatch Skyfall,” Harry said excitedly as they walked into his apartment after getting in from an advanced screening of Spectre, the latest James Bond movie. Eggsy had gotten the tickets when Merlin hinted (well, really, told Eggsy outright) that Harry would adore them. Eggsy’d had no idea how infatuated Harry was and couldn’t help smiling at his unwavering attention to the screen, shushing Eggsy if he so much as made his seat squeak. 

“Naw, I don’t like that one. They kill off Judi Dench in the end,” Eggsy whined. He’d secretly been hoping that she’d survive her gunshot wound and run off with Bond’s Scottish caretaker. 

“But that’s the first one with Ben Whishaw as Q.” 

“So?”

“I… like their banter.”

“Their banter?” Eggsy teased. “You sound like one of those mad fangirls.”

“What? I don’t know what you mean,” Harry hedged and looked away. Eggsy looked at him with surprise. Surely Harry didn’t…

“What, you got some 00Q fanfiction bookmarked on your laptop?” Eggsy asked with a wink, and then when Harry hesitated and blushed, Eggsy laughed gleefully and raced to Harry’s office with Harry half-heartedly chasing after him and protesting. 

“A gentleman doesn’t snoop on someone else’s laptop,” Harry said helplessly even as Eggsy was tapping away at his password. Why had he ever given that to Eggsy anyway?

“Boyfriends don’t keep secrets about their porn stash,” Eggsy countered as he shifted through Harry’s bookmarked websites studiously, trying to find something scandalous. 

“Oh, give it here,” Harry said with frustration as Eggsy took too long. He snapped his laptop away and flicked through his favorites quickly, stuffing down his embarrassment because he knew there would be no escape from Eggsy’s curiosity, and maybe he could avoid the ridicule. “Here are some of my favorites.”

“Oh my God, Harry!” Eggsy said as he perused the collection, some of which was fanfiction, but some others were artwork. Very explicit artwork. “What are you even doing with all this?”

“It’s my… you know… wank material, as you would say.”

“You fantasize about James Bond and Q when you masturbate?” Eggsy asked, curiously. “Like, just them, or are you in there somewhere too?”

“It’s just them,” Harry said, finding himself relaxing in Eggsy’s non-judgmental curiosity. He’d never spoken to anyone about this before and had always been afraid it would somehow invalidate his asexuality in some people’s eyes. He’d often wondered it himself, in fact. “Imagining them enjoying themselves turns me on. I don’t imagine myself having sex with either of them. That doesn’t do anything for me.”

“And you ever fantasize about anything else when you masturbate? Anyone else?” Eggsy asked, his curiosity turning shy and uncertain. Harry frowned a little, feeling guilty because he knew what Eggsy was insinuating. He shook his head and saw disappointment spread across Eggsy’s face. 

“You’re more to me than that,” Harry said, leaning into Eggsy, pulling him close to feel his body warmth and feed into that need to touch Eggsy that always overwhelmed him. Eggsy sank into his arms automatically, slotting against Harry. They fit so perfectly together.

“I know,” Eggsy murmured. 

Harry could hear doubt in Eggsy’s voice and pushed him back a little, so he could look at his face. “I need you Eggsy. In my life, with me. I don’t need you for orgasms. I can do that on my own well enough. But I can’t make myself laugh. I can’t teach myself everything I’ve learned through my life. I can’t share my joys with myself, or learn new joys by myself. You bring me something I can’t get and that is far more important.”

A smile cracked over Eggsy’s lips, and a softness hit his eyes as he let out a trembling sigh. Harry wasn’t sure what he was seeing, but his heart thumped up into his chest in response to that look. He pulled Eggsy against his chest again, letting Eggsy nuzzle into his neck, murmuring happily. Harry sighed, comfort rolling through him.

“We can watch Skyfall if you want,” Eggsy said, his voice muffled into Harry’s shirt. Harry laughed. This had to be complete happiness.

~

And then this was complete misery.

“What are the numbers on Lancelot breaking in?” Harry asked. He was in his office, working with the head of the logistics team on the details of the latest mission. Eggsy had been tagged for it since he matched the parameters perfectly, and Harry knew it was only his bias asking for Lancelot’s numbers, but that didn’t stop him.

“Only 33%, sir,” the head of the logistics team said, wisely keeping his face neutral. “The security protocols are incredibly tight, even for someone with her skillset. The honeypot has the highest rate of success within the timeframe, and without detection.” 

Harry nodded, also keeping his face neutral, and dismissed the logistics head. He called Eggsy in shortly after to brief him and give him his orders. He did not hesitate in that, because this was too important to let thoughts of his lover cloud his judgement. Still, he watched carefully as Eggsy listened and read the report, watching for any tell about how Eggsy was feeling.

“I want to remind you, you don’t need to accept the full parameters of the mission,” Harry blurted out, telling himself it was only because he felt he needed to remind new recruits about this, and not because it was Eggsy. He wanted to remind Eggsy that he shouldn’t feel pressured to commit to a honeypot if he didn’t feel comfortable. It had nothing to do with the fear crawling around in his belly, causing a slight pang of nausea. 

“This is the best option though, right? The fastest way?”

“According to our logistics team, yes.”

“And they’re targeting kids with these drugs, right?”

“Yes,” Harry said, and while the nausea rose up in a particularly unpleasant wave, he also felt a wash of warmth in his chest, and recognized it for pride. Eggsy was well deserving of his title as Galahad. 

“Then I accept the parameters of the mission,” Eggsy said. He was trying to keep his face neutral, as Harry had, and the logistics head had. He was not completely successful and Harry could see worry in his eyes, though he suspected in was not precisely about the nature of the mission. They’d have to run a refresher for Eggsy controlling his facial expressions.

~

“You don’t actually have to review every agent’s feed,” Merlin said several days later with sympathy in his voice. “I won’t tell anyone.”

“It’s my responsibility to review all of my agents in the field,” Harry said with more bravado than he felt.

“I’m pretty sure HR has an exception for those you are in a relationship with.”

“As a matter of fact, they do not,” Harry said through grit teeth. He’d read through it about ten times to make sure. Seemed like it was time for another meeting about the wording in that stupid manual. “I’ll be fine.”

“Hmm,” Merlin grumbled. “Read the report at least, so you’re prepared,” Merlin said before he finally left Harry’s office. Naturally, Harry did not. He was required to review agent feeds to keep his head in the game as Arthur, but that didn’t mean he had to linger on the details any longer than necessary. He’d watch the feed once through and get it over with, and that would be it. No need to get all worked up about it.

Harry pulled up the footage of Eggsy’s mission from the night before. He was in the UK at least, but on the Isle of Man. He’d be home by tomorrow morning once all his tasks were finished, of which the most important had already been completed, gaining computer access to drug lord, Margaret Odelle. The logistics team gathered that they could get the information through her son, via a laptop he kept in his bedroom that had access to his mother’s VPN. It was deemed that the mission would have a 94% success rate if the son was approached through neuro-linguistic programming. Eggsy was deemed his type.

Harry had heard that the mission was successful – the honeypot had gone off without a hitch, and Eggsy had successfully gained access to the laptop. So there would be no unpleasant surprises while he watched the feed, no professional ones anyway. He took a deep breath and hit play for Eggsy’s feed.

“Lookin’ good, Galahad,” Merlin said, his voice clear on the comms as Eggsy looked at himself in a mirror.

“Feelin’ good, Merlin,” Eggsy had replied, cocky grin and mischievous wink easily put into play. 

Harry had to agree. Eggsy was in his Kingsman finest, though stripped down to its more casual, seductive minimum. No bullet proof jacket, but the white shirt would stop anything small caliber. It was left unbuttoned at the collar, and the sleeves were rolled up to show off Eggsy’s sinewy forearms. Dark grey slacks added a striking contrast and the fitted cut hugged around Eggsy’s thick thighs and tight bottom. Dressed like this, he had little place for weapons, aside from his watch, ring, pen, and of course, his oxfords. The hope had been that he wouldn’t need anything, and it had held. The quartermaster report said nothing had been discharged. A rare occurrence indeed. 

With an invitation to a private house party in hand, Eggsy made his way to the mark’s house – One Sebastian Odelle, son of Margaret Odelle. Her recent rise to fame in the underworld centered on a new drug that was highly addictive, particularly for children. While the addiction itself was dangerous enough, the side effects were numerous and often led to overdose and death. Her son Sebastian seemed ignorant of his mother’s more criminal activities, so his lack of caution made him an ideal target. His monitored activities showed he was promiscuous and readily welcomed male lovers to his bedroom. 

The party was in full swing by the time Eggsy got there. It was a fairly standard affair for a young twenty-something. Plenty of alcohol, some light drug use, loud modern music, a casual mix of men and women who looked like they wanted to be there rather than being paid to do so. Sebastian was somewhere in the mix and Eggsy needed to catch his attention.

Harry fast-forwarded through Eggsy mingling at the party, watched as he sipped very, very slowly on one cocktail the entire time to keep his head clear. Saw the feed bounce up and down a little as Eggsy moved with the music. At one point, he had Sebastian in his sights, but remained back. Harry nodded in approval. Eggsy had taken well to the NLP training, despite the train test. Over the course of the night, Sebastian would fall into Eggsy’s feed again and again, and often, Sebastian would be looking back. Harry’s gorgeous boy had an easy job of that at least. 

A little after midnight, Sebastian approached Eggsy, and Harry felt pride and jealousy at the same time. He hadn’t seen a seamless pull like that in ages, but he also knew that wasn’t wholly Kingsman training. No amount of class time could chisel Eggsy’s jaw, make his green eyes sparkle, or fill out those plush lips to make men think of sin. He was irresistible, and that’s what made him perfect for the mission. 

“Wanna dance?” Sebastian asked and the feed moved down slowly, and then back up again.

“Sure,” Eggsy said, playing cool. Sebastian smiled and led him to the cleared space on the floor. Harry rolled his eyes as he watched young bodies gyrating together on the dance floor, and as Sebastian disappeared from Eggsy’s feed since they were standing too close together. Eggsy was a lovely dancer, having picked up the tango and waltz like it was second nature. But those were not the dance skills he needed for this crowd. Instead, they were like simulated sex acts. Indecent and boring for Harry, but clearly useful for the mission.

Their conversation was short and staccato, like gunfire, shouted in blasts over the loud music.

“What’s your name?” Sebastian shouted.

“James!” Eggsy shouted back.

“Sebastian. Here with anyone?”

“Nah,” Eggsy said back, trying to drawl even as he shouted. He pulled back just a little and Harry could imagine he was grinning, giving Sebastian his bedroom eyes, if Sebastian’s response was any indication. Sebastian leaned in for a kiss and the feed went blurry with Eggsy’s glasses mashed up against his face, but the wet, sticky sound of kissing came through loud and clear, then a muffled laugh. The feed skewed wildly, and Eggsy’s voice was dim.

“Hey, I can’t see a thing! Give ‘em!”

The feed flew around some more, and then it settled on Sebastian again, who was laughing. He leaned in close again to shout; “You look hot without them!”

“You look blurry!” Eggsy laughed back.

“D’you wear them to bed even?”

“Not when I’m sleeping.”

“What about when you’re not sleeping?” Sebastian asked and coupled it with a very unsubtle wink, and a nod of his head away from the dance floor. Eggsy nodded and took Sebastian’s hand as he was led through swaying bodies. They broke out of the crowd, but Sebastian kept his hand on Eggsy and led him further through the house, down narrow hallways, past security guards, upstairs, and finally, in to a wide open bedroom. Eggsy let out a sound of awe and Harry wasn’t sure if it was genuine, or his acting was getting that good.

“Ooh, Destiny. Love this game,” Eggsy said, as he perused Sebastian’s vast collection of video games. He had the latest Xbox and Playstation consoles, as well as a number of other gadgets and toys. In the corner of Eggsy’s feed, unbetrayed by even a glance, Harry could see the laptop that was their key focus. It was shut at the moment, but a low light let anyone know it was still turned on. 

“We can play if you want?” Sebastian said, his voice lifting up in a doubtful question.

“Yeah?” Eggsy asked, clearly interested.

“Focus, Galahad,” Merlin intoned sharply over the comms.

“What if I want to play another game though?” Eggsy asked, shifting topics smoothly as he set the video game aside, gaze locked intently on Sebastian. Sebastian smiled, all doubt erased as he slipped closer to Eggsy.

########################################################################################

“What kind of game?” Sebastian asked, his hands going easily to Eggsy’s body, tugging gently at the collar of his shirt. Eggsy purred in response, and Harry could only imagine the expression Eggsy was making, one he often offered to Harry just before he went in for a kiss, just as Sebastian was doing. Harry could feel an ache developing in his jaw from clenching his teeth and forced himself to relax as he listened to Eggsy kissing the mark, the view skewed again by Sebastian’s face. There was a muffled laugh from Eggsy and the feed flew around wildly until Harry was graced with a view of Sebastian’s bedroom ceiling and then Sebastian’s face, looming over Eggsy. They must have ended up on the bed already.

The kissing started up again, slower and more languid this time, with little surprised noises erupting from Sebastian occasionally as Eggsy pulled some novel trick with his tongue. Harry urged himself to feel pride rather than jealousy that Eggsy had learned so well from him.

“C’mon,” Sebastian panted into Eggsy ear, and Harry rolled his eyes at the young man’s pillow talk. Nonetheless, Eggsy acted as though it was more than enough and the angle shifted, down the lean, muscled lines of Eggsy’s body so he could watch Sebastian working his belt open, then his button and fly, finally tugging down his tight trousers and the briefs with them so that Eggsy’s rosy red cock jutted out, already half-hard with interest.

Harry paused the feed and leaned back to rub his eyes and force himself to unclench his jaw again, working his mouth open and shut to relax the muscles. The frame was frozen on Eggsy’s nudity, his arousal. Harry had seen this before, had been the cause of it a few mornings if not all that Eggsy did not confess to. He found the sight of Eggsy enjoying himself pleasurable, though not in the way most men did. It was the bone deep knowledge that Eggsy felt good that pleased him, that Eggsy was aroused because of him, even if he himself did not return that arousal. He wondered if other men would be aroused at the sight of their lovers being pleasured by another man, while simultaneously being overwhelmed with jealousy, or if one would win out over the other. He himself felt neither, but a growing well of sadness which he pushed away as he let the feed resume.

“Gorgeous,” Sebastian had murmured once Eggsy’s cock was revealed and Eggsy bubbled giddily at the phrase, shimmying his hips in silent invitation. Sebastian accepted gratefully, bending low to lap and kiss at Eggsy’s cock. Little puffs of breath, needy moans filtered over the comms from Eggsy as Sebastian got to work. The view shifted to the ceiling as Eggsy rolled his head back, but jerked back to Sebastian, now with his lips wrapped firmly around Eggsy’s cock, his head bobbing steadily, wet, suckling noises escaping him.

“Shit… oh… Seb-” Eggsy said, his voice high and tight, slightly panicked. He scrambled, his hand going to Sebastian’s head, pushing away, and Harry saw the instant of surprise on Sebastian’s face, then a laugh as he pulled away, dodging a pulse of come against his cheek. Eggsy shuddered through a quick and violent orgasm, moaning with embarrassment as the view was obscured for a moment, Eggsy’s hands covering his face.

“Barely got you in my mouth,” Sebastian said, his teasing light. “Been backed up, honey?”

“Shit, sorry,” Eggsy said, his voice thick and slow from orgasm, a sound Harry knew well. “Been awhile.”

“Hard to believe with how gorgeous you are,” Sebastian said, looking sympathetic. “How could anyone not want you?”

“Bad luck, I guess,” Eggsy said quickly, the tightness in his voice likely written off by Sebastian, and Merlin, and anyone else who had access to the feed, as embarrassment, maybe just a bit of self-deprecation. Harry could hear a lie by omission in his voice, just a subtle half-truth that even a skilled interrogator wouldn’t guess at without knowing he had reason to lie. 

“C’mon, you next,” Eggsy insisted, shoving his supposed embarrassment aside with eagerness. Sebastian folded under the temptation of Eggsy, his early release forgotten in favor of several more. Harry watched as the two tumbled around on Sebastian’s bed until the target was tired out. He watched as Eggsy feigned sleep, with his glasses set just so on the bedside table to keep Sebastian in view. He watched as in the wee hours, with Sebastian breathing slowly and deeply, Eggsy slipped out of bed, went to the laptop, and retrieved all the wonderful information the research team was currently pouring through. He watched as Eggsy slid back into the bed and fell into the light fitful sleep of every agent on a mission. 

#######################################################################################

Harry fastforwarded through the feed of Eggsy sleeping, then watched with only half an eye as Eggsy made excuses to leave the following morning after Sebastian awoke, so he wouldn’t be suspicious. Eggsy had other tasks to finish, like tailing Sebastian’s mother and interrogating one of her bodyguards for information. Harry hoped those tasks would go just as smoothly and Eggsy would return home safely. He closed out Eggsy’s file and moved onto the next agent and mission. But not before he sent Eggsy a text.

~

The next morning, Eggsy was on the flight back to London with hardly a bruise on him, and yet a feeling of dread gripped him, making his skin tight and his muscles ache. He was looking at his phone and deleting yet another response to Harry’s text, “Come see me when you get in.” Naturally, his phone had been off when he received the text, but it still showed the time stamp from the morning before, and Eggsy couldn’t help wonder if it had been sent right after reviewing his mission. He tried to imagine Harry’s voice in the text. Was he misreading it, and it was light and full of longing for him? But then where were his usual epithets of darling, dear, my boy? All he could imagine was a serious, brooding tone to Harry’s voice as he read the text, like when Eggsy had failed the dog test, filling Harry with disappointment and anger. 

Desperately, he tried to reply in a way so that Harry could only respond to allay his fears, and not confirm them, but nothing came to him. Panic he did not want to face overcame him, and he finally shot back a reply that would solve nothing. “Knackered. Gonna crash first. See you soon?” and then turned off his phone before Harry could reply. It was cowardly, he knew that, but he just needed a bit more time to muster his strength.

He didn’t go straight home to rest, and hated that lie, but instead went to Roxy’s for some much needed platonic support. When he showed up on her doorstep she tutted with worry and ushered him in, putting the tea kettle on to boil without being asked.

“Harry’s gonna break up with me,” Eggsy spat out as he sprawled on Roxy’s couch.

Roxy sat right up against his hip, on the edge of the couch and frowned. “What makes you say that?” she asked, trying to keep her cool. Eggsy was probably being irrational, but if he wasn’t, she was going to have to keep her temper down about it and not murder her boss. That might ruin her chances for advancement within Kingsman.

“He sent me this,” Eggsy said, showing Roxy the incriminating text. She looked at it, and immediately heard that same voice Eggsy had heard, stern and disappointed, but wouldn’t let that show.

“This could mean anything, Eggsy.”

“He sent it right after reviewing my honeypot. I just know it. He didn’t want me to go, and I went anyway, and now he’s going to break up with me.”

“You can’t be sure he… well….” Roxy looked again at the time stamp, 10:37 yesterday morning. She’d been in the office that day and Harry had seemed off. Distant and distracted. More damning, Merlin had been cagey too and told Roxy to steer clear of Harry. “It could be anything,” Roxy said firmly, with more confidence than she felt. It stemmed from a sort of righteous anger that it simply wasn’t fair for Harry to break up with Eggsy and make him miserable. Eggsy deserved it least of anyone she knew.

“Why would he break up with you anyway? You two have been going along swimmingly.”

“Because he’s realized I’m a disgusting allosexual and eventually I’ll beg to have sex with him and disappoint him yet again about how pathetic I am?” Eggsy said, burying his face in the sofa cushions. Roxy rolled her eyes a bit at Eggsy’s dramatic turn of phrase, but didn’t let him see it.

“If that’s the case, then he’s stupid,” she said calmly, a voice of reason that Eggsy needed in his bewilderment. “Because you are anything but a disappointment and you are not pathetic.”

“I’m a bit pathetic,” Eggsy insisted.

“At the moment, certainly. But in general, anyone would be lucky to have you.”

“Mm,” Eggsy murmured, a sound of reluctant agreement. “You think he might actually end it?”

“He might,” Roxy said after a long, considerate pause. She kept her voice as neutral and non-judgmental as she could. Of course Harry could end it with Eggsy. Or he might not. No way to know without going to see him. “But there’s nothing you can do if that’s what he wants Eggsy, even if it’s a stupid reason.”

“S’not fair,” Eggsy said, his voice thick and wet. 

“I know,” Roxy said, running her hand soothingly along Eggsy’s back. For a moment, she saw a glint on Eggsy’s face, wetness on his cheeks before he turned his face into the cushions, snuffling loudly. Roxy felt her own eyes sting in sympathy, but blinked and tilted her head back until it passed. They couldn’t both be wet messes right now. “You sleep here tonight. Worry about Harry tomorrow.”

Eggsy nodded. He’d handle Harry tomorrow, but that wouldn’t stop him from worrying about it until jet lag, exhaustion, and stress caught up with him, and put him into restless sleep on Roxy’s couch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once Harry found the word asexual, he was quite content with it and didn't look much more into it. Therefore, he is unfamiliar with the word [autochorissexual](http://asexuals.wikia.com/wiki/Autochorissexual) as a further way of identifying himself. Probably, Eggsy will find this word someday, ask Harry about it and he will say "Yes, I suppose that does describe me. Pass the masala, would you?" and go on with his life. I felt this was an interesting subset of asexuality that is little known, and hope it enlightens a few readers. 
> 
> Writing notes: Last chapter and an epilogue should be out this weekend so you won't have to worry about poor little Eggsy too long.


	7. Chapter 7

The next morning when Eggsy went in to the Savile Row shop, Roxy preceded him, like a forward guard, eyes alert through the shop as she entered first before letting Eggsy follow her in. Eggsy wasn’t quite sure what she was planning to do if they ran into Harry, but he amused himself with the thought of her going into full-on combat mode while he made a dashing escape. 

“I’ll wait until you’re done,” Roxy said when they got to Merlin’s office. She already had her phone out to keep herself busy, so Eggsy didn’t bother to argue. The mission had gone smoothly, so he knew the debrief wouldn’t take long anyway. He gave her shoulder a squeeze as he went into Merlin’s office.

“Morning, Galahad. Have a seat,” Merlin said, gesturing to a chair beside his own in front of his massive monitor display. Eggsy had always liked this set up for debriefs. Sitting on the other side of a desk always felt like an interrogation, but Merlin’s desk was set up against the wall to house his many monitors, the eyes of Kingsman. The only place to sit was beside him, so you didn’t even have to make a lot of eye contact while explaining your every move on a mission. It felt more collaborative and Eggsy was never quite sure if this was deliberate, or incidental.

“Have you spoken to Harry yet?” Merlin asked as he was pulling up the feeds from Eggsy’s glasses, skipping to parts he felt needed review. Merlin’s tone was the most bored and casual inquiry, and Eggsy envied his mastery of skill. But using Harry’s name instead of him codename was clue enough as to what Merlin was referring to.

“Let’s just do the debrief, yeah?” Eggsy said, his own voice straining for the effortlessness Merlin had, but failing, as a small plea threaded through his voice. Merlin looked away from his monitors, showed an ounce of friendly but unprofessional sympathy, and nodded. His professional handler demeanor sank back into place as he queued up the spot on Eggsy’s mission that he wanted to discuss.

~

Not even an hour later, Eggsy left Merlin’s office, and Roxy was still there, engrossed in her phone, but breaking that instantly when she saw Eggsy. “I’ll walk you to your office,” she said, already turning that way.

“Nah, don’t bother. Merlin said Harry’s in his office. And… think I’m gonna go have that chat with him…” he said, his nervousness showing through plainly.

“Yeah, OK,” Roxy said. “Come see me after. And you can crash with me again tonight if you need it.”

“Thanks mate,” Eggsy said. He nodded, to give himself courage, and made his way to Harry’s office, filled with anxiety and dread. Outside Harry’s office, Eggsy lingered. For months, he’d just barreled in whenever he liked and Harry had long since given up scolding him for not knocking. This time though, he hesitated outside Harry’s door, then slowly raised his hand to knock, his knuckles rapping against the wood soundly. A moment passed and Harry’s voice carried through the door; “Come.”

Eggsy took a deep breath and opened the door. 

“Oh, Eggsy,” Harry said, surprised. Because anyone could knock at his door and he wouldn’t know who it was, but he knew it would never be Eggsy. 

“Said you wanted to talk?” Eggsy said, standing in front of Harry’s desk and not quite making eye contact with him.

“Yes, please sit,” Harry said, gesturing to one of the chairs, one Eggsy usually took easily as soon as he strode in, if he wasn’t sitting on Harry’s desk, or perched more eagerly on Harry’s lap to distract him from paper work. “I hope the brief went well with Merlin. I’ve only had a chance to review some of your mission, but it seems like everything went smoothly.”

“Yeah. Got the intel. Merlin thinks it’s enough to put Margaret Odelle down for good.”

“Excellent,” Harry said, his voice thick with approval, like it always was when Eggsy did well on a mission. “And you slept well last night?” Harry said, hemming a bit over the small talk. He was hesitating.

“Yeah, fine… Just…” Eggsy bit his lip around his stumble of words. This was getting unbearable. “You said you needed to talk,” he said bluntly. No sense in dancing around this anymore. 

“Yes,” Harry said, visibly ruffled by Eggsy’s bluntness. He still wanted to hesitate. “It’s about your mission, but… not as Arthur and Galahad. I want to talk to you about it as… us. Just us.”

Eggsy nodded, because if he spoke, his voice would crack. He could already feel his heart picking up, and there was just a slight, tingling burn behind his eyes. If he spoke, and heard his own voice, he was certain he would cry, and he didn’t want to do that in front of Harry.

“I watched… You know it’s protocol for me to review your missions…” Harry said, an embarrassed, apologetic look on his face. “So I saw you…. With the mark, Sebastian I mean…”

Eggsy sat silently, not offering any words of encouragement to rush Harry along. It was as he’d thought anyway. Watching him with Sebastian had changed things. He wondered vaguely if everything would have stayed the same had he passed on the honeypot, or if something else would have come up to bring Harry to his senses.

“It helped me realize some things…” Harry went on.

That we weren’t meant to be, Eggsy couldn’t help but think. He’d been stupid to think it would work out for them, that he’d get something he wanted so badly and didn’t hurt anyone else for once. But getting turned down shouldn’t have been anything new for him.

“I can’t do that for you Eggsy,” Harry said. “You have needs that I can’t satisfy…”

Eggsy just shook his head a little bit. What could he say to convince Harry none of that was true? The only thing he needed was Harry, just like Harry had said he needed him. He’d said it a hundred times. He thought he’d shown it through actions as well, never pushing for anything more, and frankly, not wanting anything more. Harry, as he was, was more than enough.

“So I thought we could try an open relationship.”

Eggsy’s thoughts lurched to a halt as he stared blankly at Harry. “What?”

“I can’t say I won’t get a little jealous sometimes,” Harry hemmed. “But so long as you come home, I think it would be all right. And I don’t want any details about it. Watching your honeypot was enough.”

“Christ Harry!” Eggsy snapped, and Harry looked up, surprised by Eggsy’s anger. “I thought you were breaking up with me!”

“What? Why would you think that?” Harry asked, nonplussed.

“You sent me a ‘we need to talk’ text. That’s always bad news. You need to follow that up with some ‘I love yous’ and ‘I think we should have a threesome’ so I don’t have a full-on panic attack.”

“Open relationship,” Harry corrected. “Is this like that ‘netflix and chill’ code non-sense you’ve been telling me about? It’s plain English Eggsy. You know I mean what I say.”

“Yeah, well, use a heart emoji next time,” Eggsy grumbled, then got all wound up again as he really processed what Harry suggested. “Also, I’m offended. Offering me an open relationship? Like, just ‘cause I’m allosexual, all I can do is think with my dick? Christ Harry, I don’t know how many ways I can say this, but all I want is you.”

“Well excuse me for thinking…” Harry blustered. “But when you were with Sebastian, you were very quick with… “ he made a vague gesture with his hand, implying some sort of explosion. Eggsy blushed furiously and then got madder because he had.

“Yeah well… that ain’t…” Eggsy stumbled over his words, embarrassed to get them out. “It wasn’t because it’s been a long time… Just… I’m young…” 

“Oh,” Harry said, to give himself time to reconsider the information and review everything else he’d witnessed about Eggsy in the last few months “That explains why you’re so efficient in the shower….”

“I’ve changed my mind. I want to break up.”

Harry laughed, and Eggsy cracked a smile as well. “So you’re not mad at me about doing the honeypot?”

“Heavens know. I’m very proud of the work you did. Very professional.”

“And you weren’t jealous?”

“Only a little…” Harry sighed. “Eggsy, I was quite serious. I don’t want to keep you from something that is part of you. An open relationship-”

“Is not something I’m interested in,” Eggsy cut in. “Maybe later I’ll change my mind, but right now, you’re all I want. So, just shut up about it, OK?”

“Yes,” Harry said quietly, a small, very pleased smile quirking his lips. “Should I have some tea sent in?”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

EPILOGUE 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

“But Eggsy, it’s your birthday. I can manage for one night,” Harry insisted. It was months after that dreaded honeypot mission, and while there had of course been minor hiccoughs and spats (like who’s turn it was to pay the bill or whether they’d go out where Harry wanted or Eggsy wanted, or one very unfortunate week when they were both sick with the flu and argued over which movies to watch) they were moving along as well as anyone. Which, speaking of moving, that’s where they were heading, to help Roxy pack up her belongings and move in with Amelia, finally. 

“Don’t want you to manage,” Eggsy said offhandedly as they walked down the street to Roxy’s flat. Considering all the munitions Kingsmen agents kept in their houses, it was always best to keep the packing in house rather than rent a company. Besides, she’d offered Eggsy pizza from that place he liked. “Want you to enjoy it, if you must do it at all. Which you don’t. Why don’t you bake me a cake?”

“You know those apple tarts are the only baking I can manage.”

“Well, at least you’re pretty,” Eggsy teased and got swatted for it. “Ow, look, what if it turns out one night with Harry Hart and I’m totally gone for it? Addicted like a hit of heroin?”

“I think you’re overestimating my abilities,” Harry said with dry humility. “It’s been some years, and I can’t say I was much good at it even way back when.”

“When you tempt me like that, how could I possibly say no? How about you buy me a cake?”

“There’s hardly much thought put into that,” Harry grumbled. 

“Or we could move in together,” Eggsy said in a rush of words, keeping his head bent and still walking. Harry on the other hand froze on the sidewalk, staring after Eggsy. Eggsy finally stopped and turned around, looking back at Harry nervously.

“Do you mean it?” Harry asked, his cool and calm composure gone.

“Yeah,” Eggsy mumbled. He’d spent weeks convincing himself that it wasn’t just Roxy and Amelia planting the idea in his head. It was just Harry and how much he dreamed of being with him. When this had all started out, or even before it really got started, he’d dreamt of the usual things a man dreamed of with the man he loved – fucking in every imaginable position on any piece of furniture that could bear their weight. Even when they’d started dating, and Eggsy knew those dreams weren’t possible, he still pulled them up while he slinked off to the shower alone. But somewhere along the way, the dreams and fantasies had shifted, so that when Eggsy found himself with too much paperwork to finish, he was daydreaming of being in Harry’s kitchen and bumping elbows with him while they cooked. He daydreamed about settling down on the sofa, with JB at his feet, and Harry a warm pillow beside him. He daydreamed of climbing into bed with Harry and sinking into his arms and listening to the steady beat of his heart while he drifted off to sleep.

The shift had been so subtle, so natural, Eggsy never noticed when it happened. Just one day, he woke up, and realized he was happy, and Harry was it, just like he’d thought. Merlin had been wrong, and Roxy had doubted, and even Harry had refused at first, but he’d insisted anyway, that they try it, just like anything else, and he’d been right.

“You’re sure?” Harry asked, walking up to Eggsy again and putting him in a light embrace, like he was afraid Eggsy would dash off, and he’d have to let him go. “You want to be stuck with your old, asexual, boss?”

“Could be worse,” Eggsy said as he slipped his arms back around Harry, clinging to him to show he wasn’t going anywhere. “At least you don’t snore.”

END

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for reading, commenting, and showing their support. I know this was a departure from my usual smut writing, and I haven't abandoned that at all, but I hope you all enjoyed this story as well. :3

**Author's Note:**

> Come chat with me on [Tumblr](http://dcderringer.tumblr.com/)


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